Enough

Chapter 28.

Songs:

Green Day | When september ends

Say something | Trinity lay (cover)

Blue Ocean Floor | Justin Timberlake

...

Harry's Pov

I probably look like a ghost, my face probably looking pale and spine-chilling due to my tiredness and reaction to the information, or opinion, I've just recieved to by Sam.

Maybe I should've opened the letters a long time ago but what makes Sam so brave to tell me what to do? Why does she have to be so nosy all the time? But to be honest, that's what makes Sam the person that she is. I wouldn't change a thing about her, but that doesn't mean that I have something easy here to deal with but yeah, I'm willing to deal with it, or her now.

''I don't want to,'' I snap at her, her change of facial expression killing me inside.

''I understand if you don't want to but-'' She begins, but I stop her before she can finish whatever the fuck she has the need to let out.

''I don't want to, end of story,'' I rub my temples in frustration. ''I've already told you a bunch, now let me be.''

I know she's trying to keep herself from saying anything more because I know she's simply so scared of me, and I don't blame her. Guys I would beat up never returned to fuck with me anymore in my old college and party life, girls I would fuck and then insult never called me even though they made me give my number out. I knew, though, I knew they'd leave me and never call me back after what I would do to them.

''How do you know what she has written before you've even read them?'' Sam whispers softly as she lays on the edge of the bed in a fetus position while I'm frustratedly looking for my phone to call in sick. Me and Sam have more things to discuss, I can already see how our conversation will be heading due to her posture. I'd trade my job for Sam anytime anyways.

''Because,'' I begin, ''she hated me, I know she did. And so does my sister.'' I sound pathetic and it's a pathetic excuse, but that is just what I am. A pathetic idiot who fucks everything up and destroys everyone's lives.

I shake my head in an other attempt to shake my mind from telling my system to cry, but when I look up Sam is pointing her long index finger at my small bed table next to my bed. ''You left it there,'' she says like she's reading my mind. 

''Thanks,'' I mumble in an aggressive tone, but I regret it moments later. She doesn't deserve this, any of this. Sam's just trying to help me and look what I'm doing. Fuck I hate myself.

She surprises as she stands up from her lazy and hurtful posture which sent a dagger right through my heart how lame that even sounds, and she walks slowly to the letters resting ontop of the buddle of blankets in front of my bed. Sam avoids my eyecontact, almost like she hasn't seen me yet, that I'm someone who is completely irrelevant in the near of her presence, someone who doesn't know her past and how she is in present times. Perhaps I'm not that person or deserves to be, but I have to. For me, and I admit it I never knew I could feel this way about a girl, especially not Sam. It wasn't supposed to go like this though...

''She doesn't hate you Harry, you stubborn creature,'' she snaps me out of memories, lots of them. And the guilt, but I'm glad she did. 

I'm stubborn? I guess she doesn't know herself. 

''I'm stubborn?'' I almost scream, and I know she flinched but is trying to cover it up by the rubbing on her arms occuring by her bare palms because of goosebumps. You could almost think she was on drugs by her actions. I hate the affection I have on her when I raise my voice, I just wish she knew I'd never hurt her. Not again.