Anywhere But Here

Chapter Nine, Dawn's POV,

When the doctors came rushing in, they told me to leave, go home, and get some rest. I told them I couldn't, but they wouldn't let me stay. It hurt me fiercely when she was in that state of in between and now that she is dying, and I can't do a thing about it. Her face was red and she started to choke. That was when I got up and yelled for the doctors. She kept coughing not moving any other part of her body and it hurt like fire. I have no idea what I would do if I lost her. I need her to hold on to reality for my sake, because don't think I can take anymore loss right now. I know, that's selfish, but it's the truth. She makes me so happy and when I am with her, I don't feel at all sadness or pain. But when she's right in front of you, and she's dying, it hurts, it hurts bad. They sent me home with my brother and when he saw the look on my face, he knew not to speak. When we got to the apartment I didn't know what to do. It's as if my entire life has been destroyed. My brother watches me with caution as I stare at the wall.

"Dawn, you were not even this choked up when we moved here," He says to me, "What happened?"

Tear begin to cloud my vision.

"I am fine" I say quietly, more like I am reassuring myself, "I'm okay"

Tear then overflow my eyes and onto my face. I bite my lip out of anger and frustration, then run to my room. The tears come out and I lay there sobbing on my bed. All I can do is wait for her to be better. All I can do is wait. My stomach growls, twists, and turns and I realize I am hungry, or it might be from the pain. Why do I care for her so much? I met her like two days ago, how could see mean this much to me already? How? I am angry and tired, frustration knawing about at my insides. I just can't believe she might die. Her amazing mind, her lovely voice, her soft delicate hands, her tiny body frame, that can't go to waste. Granted I have only talked to her a few times but I just.................. know. I here my brother come into the room and curls up next to me on the bed.

"You can tell me anything," He says and looks me in the eyes.

I shake my head and close my tear-filled eyes.

"I don't want to.......there's nothing to say" I whisper to him quietly.

"I saw you and Zyra holding hands when I came to get you yesterday, you guys would make a great couple," He says matter of factly.

I snort and roll over in bed. Life doesn't work like that. You can't just choose who you want to be with for the rest of your life, they have to love you back. Does that mean that I really do love her? My mind is a mess, but not as much as her mind is probably right now. Even if I do love her there's a problem, our kind of relationship is not allowed in our state. It's true, I learned about it when I actually went to class. But that's if I love her and I am not really sure about that either. She might die anyway.

"I don't think so" Is all I say to him and close my eyes.

All I see behind my eyelids are Zyra's non-breathing red face, and her non-moving body, so I open my eyes and stare at the wall.

"Really because you guys seem pretty content just holding hands and glancing at each other when the other ones not looking, " He says and rolls onto his back.

"Really because she might die okay?" I yell at him, there's terror in his face, "Plus our love, girl and girl love, can't be shown in this state okay? She might die! Also, she might not love me back so yeah"

He smirks and stands his ground.

"Did you just admit you love her?" He says with a sly smile.

"Maybe," I say and walk out of the room.

The first thing I see in the living room is my xylophone and I can't bare to look at it. Maybe it's because my brain now connects her with that instrument. I turn away and now face to face with my brother. He might only be eight years old but he always gets what he wants and now he has the truth. I can't bare it, I can't bare her almost dying. It's all too much, she still could die. Comas, seizures, it's making me sick just thinking about what might happen to her. My brother slowly walks in front of me while I stare at the wall, trying not to cry. Zyra.................. please be okay. I know it's selfish but I need you to survive for me Zyra. I need you too because Zyra, I love you.