In Plain Sight [mxb]

4. partialiter

partialiter

/latin/ meaning: chance

         the occurrence and development of events in the absence of any obvious design. 

SONG - Burn Wild - Rozes

I nearly broke a string. It was the third time in the space of an hour I'd done so. Frustration rolled off me in waves. I didn't even want to look up at Mr. Kelley's face to exactly what I knew his expression would be. I'd butchered my piece. Mr. Kelley cleared his throat "The Swan isn't something you have a hard time doing normally. It's something that I expect someone at your level to have mastered by now."

Honestly a slap would have made me feel better. I sighed "I'm sorry. I-I'm just a little distracted today. This is not me I swear."

Normally I reveled in my Saturday private sessions with Mr. Kelley because school was deserted and he could pour his full attention unto me without the rest of the orchestra to carry along. But I couldn't even hit a D major thanks to the distractions clogging my mind. That was level 4 stuff.

Mr. Kelley sighed scrubbing his face with his palm making the beads on his wrist rattle. I couldn't help but wince every time. Mr. Kelley was a good teacher. Overly critical most times but good. His criticism hardly ever got focused on me because I was one of the overachievers he was fond of. Today I could see him forcing himself to keep up that standard with me.

"Perhaps we should cut this short so that you can get your head together around whatever is distracting you," He suggested.

"Yes, I'll do so much better next time. I'm sure of it," I replied trying to pulse with enough confidence so he would take me seriously.

"Practice," He emphasized seriously.

I nodded in agreement "Yes sir."

"By the way, did you consider what I told you?" He asked crossing right leg over left.

I placed my bow into the case trying not to make eye contact "I'm still thinking about it." And I was indeed. The ABRSM brochure Mr. Kelley had given me was still resting on the desk in my bedroom, underneath my AP Biology book so that it wasn't easily seen by anyone who managed to walk into my room.

Not that happened often.

"It's a great opportunity," He reminded "If you ask me, disregarding today's performance I do think it's something you can do."

"I already want to go to Julliard," I replied almost robotically. I'd conditioned myself with the response so much that it had begun to feel less of an admirable ambition and more of a self-imposed requirement.

"I know Adrian," Mr. Kelley said patiently "And there's nothing wrong with it. It's a good school that I would be proud if any of my students ended up there. But I feel as though you're taking what you feel is the predestined road with this one. Julliard isn't the only great school for arts. I feel as though ABRSM would offer you something better. More suited towards you if you prefer. Passing it would give you access to The Royal Music Schools in Europe. A gateway for the most prestigious operas in the world which I know is what you want. It seems grand I know but it's a legitimate possibility."

ABRSM was short for Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music, one of the largest music examination boards in the world. Passing it was like passing the Bar exam for Law school or MCAT's for medicine. It gave unlimited access in terms of opportunity to choose the best of the best music schools.