Hold On (Ianthony)

Part 18

A/N: how does this have so many reads idk thanks I guess?? Hope you're liking this sorry I suck and have been updating like once a century lately anyways have a nice day I love you a lot

As I slowly walked back home, trying to figure out what the hell I was gonna say, I called the doctor. 

I explained to him what happened, how he just woke up this morning and was... cured. And I tried really hard to keep calm and not get angry, but I couldn't. Because he told me there was a one-in-a-million chance of him remembering anything. And he was so confused as to why exactly I was upset that he got his memory back, but yes, that's extremely unusual, and he wanted to see Ian as soon as possible. So, on top of all my other problems, I now had to force him to go get probed and questioned by the doctor in an hour.

Just great.

And even though I had the whole walk home to sort my head, as I approached the door, I realized I was still drawing a blank. I guess I would just have to explain everything on the spot.

I slowly walked in, trying to man up and keep myself together. Ian sat at the table, his head in his hands. When he heard me, he shot up, looking at me with wide eyes and his mouth slightly open. 

He looked almost mad at me. And he had every reason to be, I guess. It was just hard to accept.

Right then, I realized this wasn't "old" Ian or "new" Ian. It was "newer" Ian, and so far, we hadn't gotten off on the best foot.

"Can you please explain to me what the hell is going on now?"

I just stared at him for a moment. He deserved to know; I needed to tell him. But I just couldn't get anything to come out.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, and I found myself crying. And I felt so ridiculous. For the first time in so many weeks, I felt like the smaller of the two of us. 

And afterwards, I felt like it was the first night we were home from the hospital again. Because I was crying, and I wanted to hug and kiss him and tell him I loved him so bad, but I didn't. And he didn't know what to do. He just stood there, probably so confused and annoyed with me.

"Sit down," I choked, sort of gesturing to the table.

He wiped his face a little, probably trying to make sense of things, but did what I told him. I sat across from him, and for a moment, I really couldn't speak. But then I took a deep breath and just started talking, and eventually, it all just flowed out, like someone had poked a hole in a water balloon.

"Almost two months ago, you and Melanie were driving. And... you were in an accident." I slowly looked up, and I found it was really hard to look him in the eye. Just a minute from now, his heart would be shattered, and I was the deliverer.

"And... It was pretty bad." I looked down, shaking my head a little. The next four words were the hardest I'd ever had to say in my life. Even worse than when I'd told him I loved him.

"Melanie didn't make it."

I couldn't look up at him. I just stared down at my hands, my eyes watering more and more.

"And you were really lucky to wake up. But... you weren't really there."

I finally got the courage to look up at him, and he just stared straight ahead, behind me. Expressionless.

I sobbed a little.

"The first thing you said to me when you woke up was 'I'm sorry, but who are you?'"

I shook my head a little and covered my mouth with my hand, looking out the window over his shoulder.

"And ever since then, things have just gone downhill. Well, up until like a week ago. I... well, Kalel and I broke up, you were diagnosed with depression, and for Smosh stuff..." I fumbled for the right words. "Things just haven't been going well."

I waited a moment. I guess to see if he wanted to say anything. But he just stayed quiet.

"And... uh... one night we just... started dating, and... things started getting back to normal, I guess." I bit my lip. "Until now, I mean."

I watched him carefully. He was just frozen, and I wondered if he was even listening to me. I figured it was just a lot to comprehend, and he just needed a moment to soak it all in.

Eventually, he nodded, just a little, not even looking at me. He just got up and went down the hallway, closing his door behind him.

I let my head fall on the table, and couldn't stop myself from letting it all out right there. 

Of course right when things got better, something had to fuck it up.

That was just my life these days.