You have a boyfriend yet you spend your time with me you have more important things to do but your with me i met you at the fair you didnt even glance at me you ignored me but i added you on to my friends list we started talking and texting soonrealising we had alot in common i was so nervous when we went out together i didn't think you liked me i had to take you home because your cousin had to leave we spent the night playing on each others' phones i made a move and sat in the chair with you laying over you you barley had any pants on i had my hand my hand on your thigh the entire time it wasnt till 12 we went home i droped you off a few weeks later we were leaving the park togo to your friends house it was just me you and our friend on the way a lady pulled out infront of us we hit here u asked if we were ok and jumped out to check on the other lady i started to freak out when i saw the blood from my head .. i couldnt open the door my side was blocked by the other car i had to get 10 stitches that night you were all over me crying while i held you in my arms i remember you dad jokingly saying to wipe my face up ihad blood dripping down it without thinking about it i did clean my face though we all started laughing about it. the next day i lied and said icouldnt go get the stuff out your car just to suprise you when i got their i held you in my arms the whole day your cousin made me leave he was my ride that night and he was tired of just being the third wheel you broke up with your boyfriend that week even before you did it was the greatest week icould have imagined i spent all day with you everyday it was amazing. i miss those days most of all you said you wanted to test the waters to see if we could date you were my first kiss and you knew it iwasnt going to hide it. You didn't hold it against me tho you were way more experienced than me. the next few times we were arround each other i would kiss you bye. you were still talking to your boyfriend and i'd seen some messages i'd even had a dream of you going back to him but you swore you wouldnt when you broke up with him you still havent but your crushing on him and im sure your seeing him but you dont see it like i do your not rite for each other imite not be rite for you either but i would never ignore you for a football game like he did, i would never call you racist and give you a week to be back with me if we broke up, i would never hurt you and you know i wouldnt. your friends want us to go out even from the start they were okay with him originally but soon hated him just because they saw someone they thought was better for you. your parrents were always saying friends dont do that it started when you sat on my lap when your mom came home. my parrents were always asking if we were going to hang out. people said we looked like a good couple you would always say why cant ppl see us as just friends iwanted to say to you why cant you see us as more so bad. it got to the point iwanted to just abandon you because i didnt like having these feelings you saw the text of me saying it to a friend on the ride home 1 night we sat in your drive way icould see you wanted to cry and iknew why i couldnt explain it but i loved you and didnt like seeing you love him iwanted to get away from it all. you told me i should get a girlfriend to get over you i felt like you abandoned any and all hope of us i truly wanted to cry but i played it off because it wasnt the first time i'd been emotionally abused it became a habbit i always wanted to ask you what happened when i went to tennesse something changed you were all over me before i left and the night iwas comming home i didnt have the guts to ask you when i was sober i remember nights id get so drunk and text you but you never replied i assumed you were asleep so i went to sleep if you asked me the next day i always said ididnt remember what it was. we both knew that i remembered we just never pushed for me to say what it was. i remeber smoking funny things popping so many things trying to lose the feeling of all these emotionsnothing would work nothing could work but being their with you no matter what we would do. we were so happy together everything we did every experience we had together was an amazing one even a dull moment was something worth having when it was with you. i wanted to spend my days with you holding you in my arms i missed your touch your voice when i poked your stomach how you reacted but i never was anything to you was i? i wish i knew but i dont and i probally wont know sometimes i wish i felt pain just to know i can still feel emotions i cant show but when i feel pain its caused by you what do i do? nothing ican do itried to live without you i lasted the 5minutes it took to get to my house when you saw my text about ditching you. ijust can't do it ihave feelings for you
