Why? Why are his eyes always shielded from me....can I trust him? Honestly I'm not even sure if I can, he says that I can....should I believe him? Maybe....maybe not! You only live once, might as well live it. Yolo it, that's what people say and that's exactly what I'm doing so I mean you can't blame me for trying new things in my life.
Ugh I wish he would stop staring at me like that, why can't he just trust me? I basically trust him...sort of. Ok I'm being hypocritical! But in my defence I just want him to open up his eyes to me. Why are guys so difficult?
Currently my boyfriend, Alex, and I are just at my house chilling and staring at each other because we don't know what to say or to do. I refused to do anything sexual because I'm only 17 years old and he is a couple months older than me, he's already had his 18th birthday. I know what he wants but I am not going to do it because we've only been together for a few months. So I don't want to rush into anything!
Right now, me and Alex are just lying next to each other, looking into each others eyes, with a comfortable silence.
"Did you know that you have the most beautiful eyes?" Alex says not breaking the intense hold down that he has on me with his eyes.
"Shush, no I don't!" I respond to his comment, knowing that we're going to end up bickering about this for a while, well it's better than nothing. He doesn't respond to that, usually he does...oh well maybe he's tired of it.
Suddenly, he climbs on top of me, hovering me. One of his hands is holding up his entire weight and the other is running along my waist, quite harshly to be honest but I didn't complain.
Then we were filled with silence again, but not for long because his phone buzzes in his back pocket. I've always been a nosy person so I constantly ask him who he's talking to but he always says it's his mum or dad.....should I believe that? He never really talks about his family, all I know is that his parents split when he was a baby...well that's what he told me! Again do I believe him or not?
Then Alex sits up and pulls out his phone, reading through his messages, I do the same. Unfortunately for me, I have no notifications! Meanwhile, Alex is typing away to I assume his mum or dad.
My eyes drifted to his arms, just admiring them as his fingers typed rapidly. I need to stop before he catches me staring...too late. As I look up to his eyes I find that they are staring right back at me but he still shows no emotion towards me; I begin to feel uncomfortable.
Before I can do or say anything, he crashes his lips onto me and waits for my reaction. I begin to kiss him back, moving my lips in sync with his; I have never kissed anyone before so he is my first kiss and he doesn't know that...yet. After a few seconds he pulls away, and smirks at me.
"You know that was my first kiss!" I say almost as fast as can, but he manages to hear me, which makes him smirk even more.
"Well that's good for me then" he replies to me. Then his phone buzzes again...he pulls it out and his face goes neutral. "I'm so sorry babe I have to go home now, I'm really sorry!" he tells me.
"Oh no that's fine, is everything ok?" I ask him as gently as I can because I know how difficult it is for him to talk about his family.
"Yeah everything is fine" Alex sighs at me. As much as I want to ask him what has happened, I know that it won't have a good result because I will end up saying something to hurt him or he will end up shouting at me.
I decide to just nod my head at him and I show him to the door, passing my dad, who is currently just watching a game. When he is watching the game he is partially oblivious to his surroundings, however Alex still says goodbye to him. Then he turns to me, looks me in the eye and gives me a goodbye hug. Then he heads towards the door, without a single word.
