Stay Sober

Fandom: Dragonball, Dragonball Z, Dragonball Super
Pairing: Vegeta/Gohan
About: Gohan tries to put some distance on memories of a past affair with Vegeta. The guy is pretty literal for a genius.
Warnings: Yaoi hints, nothing sexually graphic, angst
Notes: Ash makes me wanna write dbz angst.

++

The airport's crowded, I'm tired, and the ticket line is long. I'm waiting, debating if this is just all wrong - even though I told myself, a thousand times, to go.

The scarf Videl gave me is tight. My carry on case feels empty. I look through the window as the line shuffles to an old, slow drone and count clouds.

Are you looking at them, too?

I look away and think about the meeting. The thousand mile trip; I want to be a lifetime away. Far away from the past. From you.

The clerk smiles. The plane smells like Videl's laundry room. No window seat for me. No room for my shoulders, for my legs, for me. You once said I was ridiculously tall, back when I existed.

You said so many things to me. But no. I'm not thinking about those things. Or you. And soon I will be somewhere else and nothing will remind me of you there.

A thousand miles away from being ignored, dismissed and forgotten. A thousand miles away from watching you look through me like furniture.

You used to look at me like I was all your fantasies come true. Like I really was special; more than his son, more than him. You told me I was special. And like a fool I believed.

The plane takes off, breaking through clouds as its engines push along at subsonic speed. I can use my laptop now. I can have a drink now. Soda, please. I can't hold my drink.

You used to share a bottle with me after we sparred. You'd watch me throw those shots back, one after another. You'd crook your finger. You'd turn and walk away. You did not look back; you knew I'd follow. Always follow because you were my prince. I braved the planet's spin and faced the secrets behind your closed door. The terrible secrets I never shared. And you already knew them. Found them, with your rough gloves and rougher mouth. Oh, Vegeta. I thought I hid them well.

No one knows who I am in this city. I'm just another man in another suit with another case going to one of countless meetings somewhere in the catacombs of a generic skyscraper. I want to find comfort in that banality. That is my goal, my aim, my one wish. I check into the hotel, I ride the crowded elevator, I walk into my standard issue room, my anonymous space.

I wish I didn't want to be special.

There is a bottle in the mini fridge. I promised Videl I wouldn't drink while I was away. But that isn't enough to stop me from pouring a shot.

I wonder what you're doing.