My Soul belongs to You

I just want it all to go away

Chapter 5

I must've had a really bad nightmare because I woke up hugging myself my head dug deep into my legs, my legs glued to my chest. I was having a seizure. This was new. I've never had something like this happen to me. Even the first time Ive had this nightmare, it wasn't this bad. It was the same dream but something was different. My head was pounding and my ears were ringing. I was trying my very very best to restrain myself from screaming but it didn't work. I screamed and cried. Trayvon woke up quickly and turned on the lights that brightened the room. Its 3:20 am. What time did we go to sleep? "STOP LEAVE ME ALONE! AAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHHH!!!" I screamed hoping that it would all just go away. That's all I want is for it all to go away. "Candy, Candy its ok its ok it's just a nightmare." Trayvon hands were on my shoulders tight with a grip, his eyes were locked onto mine. I looked at Trayvon. It should be going away. It should be going away. It seemed to real. Way to real. Why isn't it going away?

This doesn't make any since! "Please It's not going away" I close my eyes my hands still tight on my ears. All I can do Is screamed. Go away. No. No. No. "Hey what the heck is going on? Why is she screaming! Boss it was your job to keep this calm. When she slept with you none of this was supposed to happen" That sounds like miles' voice. "Look I don't know I woke up she was in this position screaming leave me alone. I tried to calm her down but it wasn't working." I can hear their conversation but I can also hear scratching and knives and guns. I can see it. Why is this happening. "Candy...Candy it's just a nightmare!" Trayvon looks at me. I try to look at him, but I can't see his face, all I can see is the monsters face. "Candy please stop before you make yourself pass out again" Miles say pleading. "LEAVE ME ALONE. I push myself to the edge of the bed making myself fall. I quickly get up. I look at Trayvon then at Miles then at Tony who's behide Miles- or at least I think that's them.

I see monster's demons, violence. It just keeps on rewinding. "Why isn't this going away" I screamed to the top my lungs. I fall to the ground again holding my head and ears. I just want this over. I sit up to grab the gun that was laying on the top of the drawer. "GO AWAY!" I screamed again "NO NO NO Candy give me the gun!" I didn't give him the gun and didn't want to give him the gun. I also didn't want to kill myself. I lowered the gun from my head feeling faint. Fuck. Miles runs over to me to catch me just in time. The gun falls out of my hand hitting the floor. "please just go away" I say, my body is shutting down. No not again! I don't want to go to sleep I don't want to sleep. Please don't make me sleep.

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I open my eyes. I'm not in the same room. This isn't Trayvon's room. I push myself up to look around only to find James on the edge of the bed with Trayvon by the door. Okay I must really be dreaming cause bloods and Crips are not supposed to be like this. I'm done talking. I'm done being vulnerable. Something happened to me after I heard about mom's death. I quietly grab the gun on the drawer a few inches away from me and point it to James. "So, what's your excuse for this Tray!?" Oops my bad. James looks up from his phone turns arounds and quickly got up from the bed. "Candy put the gun down." Brandon says looking bored and tired of this happening all the time. "Candy please don't shoot- "James say a playful voice. "Shut Up James! ...Wait a minute" I knew I knew him from somewhere. Just to make sure I get up from the bed and walk up to James the gun still pointed on him.

"Turn around James" I say saying James slowly looking at him right in the eyes. Once he turned around I gripped James shirt by the bottom and pulled it up. I freaking knew it! Its David! "Man, I just keep on getting shot with lies. One after another. Turn around David." I say bored as fudge. "Give me your arm" David gave me his arm with an ok you got me look. I put my thumb up to my mouth to spit on it. Then I rubbed my thumb on his arm where the Crips tattoo is. It's not even real! "Okay now.