Genderfluid // Wolfstar

3

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There are days after THE PRANK as it will later be dubbed that Sirius has no idea what Sirius wants to be called.

James, in the days after THE PRANK can’t even look at Sirius without disgust clear on his face. After all, it was James that saved Snape from the Wolf.

Remus can’t help but feel like it’s partially his fault, though he knows most of it is on Sirius, for even suggesting such a thing to Snape. The Wolf was been more docile during fulls thanks to Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail, but even so, Moony was never a fan of strangers.

Sirius sleeps in the common room most nights, on a pull out bed that magically appeared under a sofa one night. Remus doesn’t know where Sirius’ belongings have disappeared off to, but Sirius says nothing about them missing, so no one brings it up.

It’s not necessarily the fact of THE PRANK that kicks Sirius out of both the girls’ and boys’ dormitory, but the fact that Sirius’ bed disappeared one night and didn’t return. Remus isn’t sure if Sirius ever told McGonagall or Dumbledore, or if there’s simply nothing anyone can do about it.

The staircase still lets Sirius up though, on the rare few occasions James calls for a M-Cubed. Sirius is still a Marauder yet, and thus meetings are still mandatory.

Sirius never says much though. Remus doesn’t know what to say. James doesn’t even look in Sirius’ direction much anymore. Peter, bless him, doesn’t know what to do about anything, but Remus has a feeling they’d all be much worse off without him.

It’s a week before Winter Break starts. Remus was told a few days earlier but Sirius, who refused to look him in the eyes, that Sirius was planning on staying at Hogwarts for break.

“No point in going to James’ for break if he won’t even look me in the bloody eye.” Sirius said. There were apologetic tones in Sirius’ voice, but Remus told Sirius ages ago he didn’t want any more apologies. There could be all the apologies in the world but Remus still needed time to forgive.

They’re in first Potions class of the week and Peter partners with Sirius. Pete’s the only one who has any clue as to how to handle the situation, though this isn’t the first time that Remus thinks that the small, blond boy is the glue that holds them all together.

Though Pete is rubbish at potion brewing, Sirius is particularly adept. (Though that, when brought up in conversation, is blamed on Pureblooded upbringing.) Between the two of them, their skill sets balance one another out and they end up with passing marks.

All of their classes are quieter now that Sirius and James and occasionally Remus aren’t talking to one another. There’s little noise in the dungeon classroom except for the boiling of the potions and the small whine of heat from the burners beneath their cauldrons. In the quiet of their classes, when Remus can’t focus, he misses Sirius something terrible.

As soon as the class is dismissed (but not before a snide remark from Snape about how Sirius is wearing trousers is he finally a man again or will they be in for a fashion show tomorrow?) Sirius gets up the leaves the classroom first and doesn’t wait for the others.

Remus sighs, his heart heavy and his mind torn in two. He’s angry at Sirius, or as angry as he will let himself be (angry plus werewolf equals bad) but he’s worried about Sirius at the same time. Sirius cringes whenever anyone uses pronouns, of any sort, and Remus wishes, not for the first time, he knew what was going on in Sirius’ head.

It’s Lily Evans, of all the people in the world, to be the catalyst in repairing the Marauders. (In years to come, this will be ironically amusing to all of them; how she was the one to save them, even if she did loathe them as a whole.)