"It's okay. I - " How could she explain it? Sorry I didn't trust you? Sorry I wanted to keep myself safe? Sorry - "I guess I was just - uncertain about it myself? And then when I finally figured it out, I thought it would probably be best just to keep quiet."
It sounded pathetic, even to her.
"That was stupid," Caitlin said. "Didn't you think we'd - ?"
Felicity rallied: "I mean, I did go to Pride with you guys. That's pretty gay."
"Straight people do that."
Felicity sighed. "Maybe I was being too subtle. But it wasn't intentional!"
"You were being dumb." But Caitlin spoke gently and smiled. Felicity had been forgiven, or she had never been at fault. "I can understand it. Not wanting to tell anybody."
"You can?"
"Yes."
"That's - I'm glad. I waited such a long time to say anything to anybody about it. Where I came from, it wasn't exactly accepted. And I still liked some guys, so it was easier for me to pass. I kept telling myself that I'd come out at the right time, but the right time just..didn't come."
She was babbling.
"That makes sense," Caitlin said quietly.
Felicity laughed. "I keep waiting for the phone to ring," she said, "or for Thea to jump out of a cupboard."
Caitlin took her hand. "I guess it would fit the mood."
"I'm sort of shaken. I'm probably not making much sense. I just - wasn't expecting any of this."
"Me neither."
Felicity weighed staying on the topic for as long as she possibly could against trying to wrestle the conversation back to normalcy. "We still have presents to wrap," she said. "Shouldn't we be finishing that off right now?"
There was always time, Felicity thought, for other things later. Rushing into it now wasn't going to make either of them happy. So she settled down into the sofa, and rested her head in the crook of Caitlin's shoulder.
