Seventeen Problems

If Seventeen Had Real Jobs

Okay guys, so I know this is random but this book is going to be more than just a fanfic! 

yaaaaayyyy!!!!!! (this is the part where you're supposed to cheer)

Whenever something funny pops in my head I am going to add that piece of trash that my screwed up fangirl mind comes up with to this book! ITS GONNA BE DA BESSTTT.

Here's the first one and I hope you enjoy! You can request some like this or leave ideas if you want!

  S.Coups: History Teacher

"Students, don't only think of me as your teacher, but think of me as your father. Your dad away from home. I will teach you about more than just history, I will teach you about life as we grow together."

*half way through the year*
"PHILLIP, HOW DO YOU EVEN MANAGE TO GET A BOTTLE CAP UP YOUR NOSE! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO COLLEGE NEXT YEAR."

Jeonghan: Therapist
"Uh huh. Uh huh. Just keep pouring your problems out at me for an hour while I make 1,000 dollars off your inability to have a normal life. I love my job."

Joshua: Dramatic TV Show Host
"And welcome back to The Hong Show. Next Up we have Taisha and Shenaynay. Taisha says Shenaynay has been sleeping with her man Jerome, but now that Taisha's pregnant; is Jerome even the father? We'll find out next as I pray for these lost souls."

Jun: Message Therapist
"( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

Hoshi: Bell Hop for 5 Star Hotel
"GOTTA GO FAST! MR. GARCIA NEEDS HIS SUITCASE PRONTO! THEN TO MS. KELLY WHO IS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MR. WILLIAMS IN ROOM 287B AND THEN BACK TO MAINTENANCE AND GOTTA GO GOTTA GO GOTTA GO!"

Wonwoo: Librarian
*whispers* "im home..."
*smiles. cries*

Woozi: Lawyer
Woozi: "Therefore my client is innocent-"
Other Lawyer: " I OBJE-"
Woozi: "YOU DO WHAT NOW SON! GET OVER HERE!"
*Chases other lawyer around court house. Ends up winning case just because he is such a scary, genius lawyer and intimidated the judge. Judge quits from that one case and has nightmares of Woozi for years. Ends up going to Jeonghan for therapy.*

DK: Toys"R"Us Manager
*Running around at 12am in the store as he plays with literally everything with all the lights on.*
"THEY WERE WRONG. YOU CAN BE A KID FOREVER!"
*gallaps on toy horse for a while until he passes out only to be found by his employees the next morning.*

Mingyu: Private Chef
"And here is your peppercorn encrusted filet mignon in a balsamic red wine reduction with rosemary red potatoes."
*person lifts fork*
"YOU'RE UNWORTHY OF SUCH EXCELLENCE YOU PEASANT I SAW HOW YOU JUST LIFTED THAT FORK. WHERE. IS. YOUR. CLASS."

The8: New York Times Critique
"So I went to the play and it was great. I loved everything about it. That's a lie. I secretly hated whoever they got to play the role of the secretary chick. That ratty redhead thinks she's all that. And the soundtrack was lame af. Where's Drake when you need him. But I loved it. It was the best show ever!😁😉😙 #thuglife"
*boss stares at The8 in the eye after he finishes reading his review.*
"Did you just put emojis in an official New York Times article?"
"... Yes."
"GENIUS! MINGHAO YOU JUST GOT PROMOTED!"
*doesn't really care* "... k."
"SUCH PERFECTION. TAKE MY CAR."

Seungkwan: 24/7 Human Resources
"And he did what? Oh, Honey. No. No. No. Leave him! You can do SO much better... Huh? You wanna know if your cable's back on now? Bish you think we actually know that shiz, like no I'm just here to distract you. My company ain't doing jack. HELLO?"

Vernon: Weatherman for CNN
"And it's gonna be below 0 in Times Square tomorrow so beware of Ice Ice Baby. Lol jk its gonna be like 70 degrees. I think? Lol they just hired me because I'm hot. Pun intended!"

Dino: Video Exercise Instructor
"Okay and one, two, three- listen I know it's tough but you can do it! Stay with me know, we're gonna take the routine from the top. Now here comes the stretch, that's right. Just focus on your core! You're doing great! Remember its all in the hips! Hip thrust! Hip thrust! Hip thrust! We got this! WOO!"

HOPE YOU ENJOYED! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!