The Diary of a not so beautiful teenage girl

HIM.

Hi Guys, Thanks for reading. I just wanted to say that I don't have a specific plan or goal so it will just write whatever comes into my mind which is why it may be unorganised and messy but bear with me. I hope you're are enjoying so far.

Dear Diary.

Who is He? He is a beautiful boy, tall and handsome. He is everything that I have ever wanted in a guy.  He isn't perfect, oh my he is far from this perfect fairy tale prince but he was defiantly perfect for me.  His short hair would fall down his face when he laughed and oh god that beautiful smile, that one crooked tooth that I adored every time he smiled. His hands were large and defiantly masculine but yet soft, the feeling of the pad of his thumb wiping away a tear that was slowly falling down my cheek as I cried was a memory that I never wanted to forget. The way his eyes would light up when he looked at me. That is something very hard to believe, they lit up when he looked at me..it couldn't be true could it? he admired me.

Nothing could ever compare to him, no one could take his place. He would be forever engraved into my mind as the perfect one. He sounds to good to be true doesn't he?  but to me...he was absolutely perfect and that is a word I don't like to use lightly. He made me feel emotions that I can't ever seem to explain, he made me feel sick to the stomach when he fluttered his long eyelashes while slowly falling asleep. His frustrated bite of his lip when he was agitated would send shivers down my spine. The feeling of large hand running down my spine and into the small of my back is a feeling that would make me go weak that the knees.

He was perfect, He was everything that I ever wanted. All this time that I was searching for something that was deemed impossible and I found it, it was HIM! But good things don't last forever do they because not only did he make me feel all these unexplainable emotions, he also made me feel one I found it so easy to explain...Numb.

That's right, it was Him. He was the reason as to why I had felt Numb. He broke me in millions of pieces and left me feeling cold. I craved his touch more than anything in the world. I craved his presence but I couldn't have it. I know I keep saying it but he was perfect...he was everything I ever wanted...he loved me and my flaws but do you want to know something, He wasn't real.

Woah I know, what a surprise. He was a figment of my imagination the whole time. Did you expect it? did I surprise you? probably not but Hey Ho! There you go, he wasn't real. I made him up to make myself feel better. There is another thing that a lot of people do even as they get older. They make people up to make themselves feel better... Who am I kidding? its probably only me that's ever done that because I know no one will ever love me, it is impossible to love someone like me but that leaves you with the question of, have you ever felt or asked yourself  ' Who could ever love me?' because if so...you're not alone and you're going to enjoy the next chapter. 

Good Night Diary.