Tampons // PAUSED

S E V E N

_Ashton_

"I think we should talk to Luke about us," I state firmly, just as Sapphire takes a bite of a cheesy noodle.

"Us? You mean we're... Together now?" Sapph asks.

"Yeah," I quickly realize my mistake, "If you want there to be an us, I mean."

"Of course that's what I want, Ash; I've waited for this moment for so long," she laughs, "But you don't think it's too soon to tell Luke?"

I shake my head,"There's no way we could we see each other without Luke getting suspicious. What are you going to do? Casually walk into his room and say, 'Hey, Luke, if you don't mind, I'm just gonna go hang out with your best friend for a while. 'Kay, see you later!'?"

"Well," she begins quietly, "We could lie?"

"You're such a bad liar, Sapph," I reject the idea immediately, and it's not just because of the truth behind that statement. The one thing I don't say out loud, I think to myself, I don't want to lose the trust of my best friend...

"Yeah, I know," Sapphire sighs.

"Exactly," I nod, "So, what're we going to do?"

"I still think that's the best thing to do..." If only you knew, Sapphire... If only you knew...

_Luke_

I can't believe it... She fucking dumped me for hanging out with my fucking best friend! It's all over with her – Nadine... It even hurts to think about her... I just can't believe it... I love Nad's so much! She is---was---my world...

Everything has been going wrong since yesterday; Shay is somewhere between life and death, Sapphire has been ignoring me since she went to Ashton's– which reminds me that I should go get her soon –, Nadine dumped me... I'm drunk, and right now I want nothing more than to just curl into a ball and cry... What am I going to do?

"Fuck!" I scream as I punch my steering wheel repeatedly.

_Calum_

I haven't left my bed since I came back from the police department. I tried to catch some sleep, the one I hadn't had since the accident. How could Sofia do this? Shay isn't the girl I'm in love with. and she isn't the reason why I broke things off with Sofia; I did it because she was crazy, and she still was, to be honest.

Oh, God... What the hell did I do that was so wrong? What did I do to deserve a life as messed up as the one I lived? Was it all in my head? Was I going crazy? I didn't know, but I pulled out a dingy old notebook, anyway, and started writing.

Dear Diary, Journal
or whatever this is...

I feel like a teenage girl doing this, but my psychologist told me it was good to have a "diary" where we can "hide our little secrets". So, here I am.

Let's just hope this stays a secret forever...

I don't really understand what just happened. Maybe it's because I was freaked out, and I still am. Is it normal to feel empty after all this? Probably not... Ugh, I feel so stupid.