Thoughts

On Hiding

  I am good at hiding. Not literally but at concealing information and avoiding especially uncomfortable situations. The principle method and goal of hiding is to act in a manner which does not reveal the thing to be concealed but is not obvious. That is, it provides an adequate answer. For example, upon being asked how are you by someone who I don't know very well when I am not doing well I answer I am doing well. To me this is not a lie. As far as they are concerned (not being close enough to me to be either prepared for or trusted enough to elicit a frank answer) I am well. I live in a first world country, will eat tonight, continue to live etc. IF they catch a sad tone (a sign of failed concealment) then a frank answer is not necessary. There are likely some simple things that can be offered as reasons for sadness which do not touch on the deepest reasons. Saying I am tired is very effective. Everyone relates to being tired and knows to leave you alone. The key to these methods of concealment is their ambiguity. I am well as it concerns a very broad and physical picture but concerning a narrower more emotional level I may not be. I think most people employ such techniques to shape conversations in general. BTW I am not writing this so anyone knows how to hide well but more as a message to people that it's not hard to hide and maybe as a way to find people who hide. The principle difficulty in finding a hider who using these techniques is that when properly executed they look like normal behavior (mostly). Thus it requires real discernment to find a hider. This is part of the function of hiding. It is not primarily to be unfound. On the contrary I have found that I want to be found. I also want to fight hard to remain hidden. This is at least in name supposed to only allow people who truly care and are discerning to discover me. I think I am unfortunately too good at this. There are people who care who I can and do shut out. I do often use this to control when a conversation happens so that it is not too terribly awkward or painful.