Conversations (Gxg): The Monday Morning Theory

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"Have I ever told you how beautiful you look in your work uniform? The cap looks really cute on you."

"Your bs won't work on me, Trish."

"Whoa, you have dimples? How did I just notice this now? I should compliment you more often. You're cute when you smile."

"Shut up and order, loser."

"I'll get the usual. Any new desserts, Ms. Carmella?"

"Want to try our Oreo cheesecake?"

"Is it good?"

"Of course."

"I'll get a slice, then."

"That'll be $8.00 with your milkshake."

"Here."

"Um, can I ask for a favor?"

"Take you out on a date? I thought you'd never ask!"

"Shut up, this is for real."

"Okay, okay, what is it?"

"Um... I'll tell you in a bit. Just get a table, then I'll excuse myself then I'll go to you."

"Yes ma'am. If this is your confession of love, then yes, I will be your girlfriend—"

"Oh my god, move along and wait for your drink and dessert at the counter."

"You're adorable, you know that?"

"The queue's getting longer. Get out, loser."

"Talk to you in a bit, Mella."

"..."

"..."

"Hey, Trish."

"Is this the part where you kneel and tell me you're in love with me?"

"Shut up for one minute."

"Whatever you want, princess."

"Don't call me that."

"Man, you are so cute."

"Shut up and listen."

"Okay, okay."

"Promise you won't be annoying about it?"

"Can't promise that."

"Just... don't be annoying for one minute, please."

"Okay, okay."

"Okay, umm... how do I say this..."

"Just shoot."

"I swear I'm not into you, but can you pretend to be my girlfriend every Monday?"

"..."

"Stop smiling like that!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Carmella."

"Get that grin off your face!"

"If you wanted to be mine, you could just ask and I'd say yes in a heartbeat. I know you have a crush on me anyway."

"Don't flatter yourself, I swear I'm not into you."

"You're so into me."

"Am not."

"Why'd you ask me, then?"

"Um... my ex. She works in a firm a few hours away, and she keeps driving all the way here every Monday to try to get me back. Like, she waits 'til I get off at 9.You look scary so maybe if we pretended to date, she'd go away."

"..."

"So... are you in?"

"What's in it for me?"

"I... I don't really have much to offer—"

"I'm kidding, Mella. Of course I'm in."

"Really? Like, you can wait at the café 'til after 9?"

"Yup. I can do my papers here."

"Thank you so much. You're a lifesaver."

"I know."

"Thank you, really."

"No problem, princess."

"Don't call me that."

"What? We gotta be realistic if we're fake dating, babe."

"It's not even a Monday. And don't call me babe."

"Honey? Baby? Pumpkin muffin baby boo?"

"Stop, oh my god. I'm going back to work. I'll see you on Monday, Trish."

"Wait!"

"Yeah?"

"Can I get your number? For... in case, you know, your ex is here and you need me..."

"You go here at 6pm every Monday, my ex gets here at 7. There won't be a need to call you, right?"

"You're making this really hard for me, aren't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Fuck. Don't go winking at me like that, Mella."

"I'll see you on Monday, Trish."

"Wait up!"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to go out tomorrow? Like, if you're not busy? You don't usually have Sunday morning shifts, so yeah..."

"I'm going to my parents' house though."

"Well, I mean, you could introduce me as your girlfriend—"

"Goodbye, Trish."

"Take care, cute stuff."