Death

๑The End Was Just The Beginning๑

I got out of my uncomfortable bed and rubbed my eyes that were longing a night's worth of sleep. A night's worth of sleep. Something that I haven't had in a long time. A sigh escape my dry lips just as a growl makes an appearance from my stomach. I get up and head over to my mini-kitchen in my crappy studio apartment. I open the fridge looking for scraps of food from yesterday- or the week before. I find a half empty carton of juice and check it's expiration date. 'Expired 3 days ago, good enough for me.' I think to myself as I chug the rest of it. Leaving the empty carton next to my dirty dish filled sink, I head over to the pile of clothes next to my bed. I pull out a full sleeve sweater dress along with some tights. I change into them and wear some boots with the outfit. I slumped on to my bed contemplating about whether I should go visit her today or not. She hated me then. She probably hates me now. How can one live with both their parents not wanting them to exist. I'm only 23, I shouldn't be going through this. Then end it all. I shut my eyes trying to stop the tears from coming but they still fall. Okay.

X-X-X

I folded my arms as the cold breeze blew against my weak and fragile face. I quickly crossed the deserted road and pushed open the rust gates of the cemetery. I walked along the dusty cobblestone path to the end of the cemetery. I went to the gravestone that I've been visiting regularly for the past year. I sat down on the grass that was damp from the rain and ran my fingers along the writing that was carved onto the stone. 'Anne Wilson | 1970-2015 | Mother of a beautiful daughter, and wife of an amazing father.' The tears fell one after the other-almost racing each other. "I'm so sorry!" I cried out "I'm sorry for being a disgrace! I'm sorry I never listened to you. You told me to listen to you because you were right mom. But I didn't listen and because of that you're gone forever." I yelled into the cold air as I cried even louder. I stopped caring about what the other people here thought because they don't understand. "But this breathing disgrace that continues to live mom; is gonna disappear... Mommy I miss you. I miss you so much and you would hate me so much for what I'm about to do." I sat up and looked at the scars that ran all over my arm. "But I have to." I continued. "I'm living a shitty life and mom no one cares that I do. Which means, they wouldn't care if I leave right?" I sobbed. "He wouldn't care. You know mom, he hasn't spoken to me since. Hasn't given me look of pity. He used to love me and I miss that; I deserve this though. Mommy I'm here to say..." I cried more before I could continue. "I'm here to say goodbye because I'm not coming back." I shook my head as more tears fell."I'm not coming back." I broke down and cried for what felt like hours next to my mother's grave.

I rubbed the tears on my eyes with the sleeve of my dress. I got up and kissed my mother's gravestone giving her a final goodbye hoping that maybe we can meet again in another reality or another haven. I looked up to see the sun setting, leaving a trail of beautiful colours behind it. I went into the woods that were behind the cemetery and to the bridge that was 150 feet off of the ground. I remember the last time I came here. We were a happy family then.

I screeched out at my dad "DADDY STOP! WE'RE GONNA FALL!" He wouldn't put me down and suddenly my laughs became screams and cries. "It's ok sweetie look," He put my down on the other side of the bridge that we'd just crossed. "You don't have to be afraid, just walk straight through the middle." I looked up at him as I hugged my mom still shaking and said "Okay daddy."

I looked down at the stream and rocks that were underneath the bridge. I remember the first time out of 4 that I tried to do this. I was about to. But I instead ran off crying after staring at the beautiful stream. Similar thing happened with the other 3. This time. This time, it'll all be over and maybe I'll be with her again. Same things were said the past 4 times Liv. I closed my eyes and smiled to myself hoping that'd die while i'm falling so it's less painful. I stood up on the railing of the bridge. I stood there for a few more minutes thinking that maybe, just maybe, my prince in shining armor will show up. Stop me even. Then we fall in love, get married and even have kids. That can happen right? 'Stop being stupid Livia. True love isn't real.' As if someone would care enough to save me. "Goodbye." I whispered with a smile on my face and before I could change my mind I let myself drop to the beautifully deadly stream.

X-X-X

I felt my head throb in pain as what seemed like a memory flashed through my mind. Just before I jumped a man approached me and looked deep into my eyes as he told me that it wasn't gonna hurt, and it didn't. When he bit into my neck and started taking my blood, it didn't hurt. Once he was finish he pulled away and asked me what I was doing and for some reason, I willingly told him exactly what I was doing. Then he bit into his wrist and shoved it into my mouth forcing me to drink it. He had a peculiar smile on his face as he told me to forget this encounter ever happened.

I opened my eyes to find myself laying in a pool of my own blood. The blood was a shade of dark red, which meant- which meant I died. Why? Why am I awake? Why am I alive? The tears pooled in my eyes but they went away when I felt a sudden thirst. I got up and heard- I heard someone's heartbeat. Suddenly I find myself on the main road; no longer having control over my body. I see and old man on the side of the road and I get to him quicker than the speed of light. He gave me a look of fear as I felt my fangs get longer. I bit into the flesh of his neck and felt myself drain him of his blood. It tasted AMAZING. It was bitter but sweet at the same time. I was lost in this wonder that I was ignoring all his pleads and screams for me to stop. I kept drinking and drinking for what felt like forever. Once there was none left, I pulled away and his body dropped dead. That's when it hit me. I killed him. I killed an innocent man. I shook my head as the tears fell. I looked up at the sky to see a full moon stare down on me.

I quickly ran to my mothers grave and broke down. I looked at my blood filled dress. 'You're a monster! You did this! MONSTER!' I heard his words in the back of my head. My breathing heavied as the tears fell down my face. My heart was beating so fast it felt like it was gonna explode. I cried more and more. "I'm so sorry mom. I didn't mean to hurt him I swear!" I bellowed. "What am I gonna do mom? I can't give myself in. They wouldn't understand. I didn't want to." Keep telling yourself that 'till it's true.I heard a soft chuckle behind me and I looked back but I found no one there. I am going insane. I'm becoming an insane psycho killer that drains people of their blood. I've been a killer since my first victim. YOU DID THIS! YOU KILLED HER YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED HIM TOO! Suddenly, I felt someone's hand on my head and as I was about to turn around I felt them twist my head-like they were snapping my neck- and gave me an undeniable pain as darkness took over my blurry sight.

Thank You So Much For Reading Babes :)
Rate and Comment if You Liked It :)

xoxo
Ruby E.