Sad. Pain. Cuts. Tears. Nothing. Emotions.
This book is a book in which I write to express my feelings, I have a lot of problems which make me depressed and nobody knows about it. Like they say, sharing with a stranger is better than your closest fr...
You know that moment when ur sad song playlist starts playing? And from your surprising cheery mode u go to depressed mode? And then literally the whole day your sad? You go for a shower, your songs playing. Soon your crying and saying things, which you want to be. Head leaned up against the wall or on the floor crying your eyes out, making no noise.
Good thing the shower is running because no one can hear, and if the shower is warm, you don't feel your tears. But if it's cold (most the time is) you can clearly feel your tears. And no one is there. Your all alone. You want to change, but your too weak and you need support.
At school your quiet, cheery when everyone is having a conversation tho. You get ditched by two best friends. And you stay quiet. You know you can't cry. Because they will make fun of you, and you will be proven weak. So you cry on the inside. But just say "it's okay" in real. Your trying to reach out for help, your eyes begging. But nobody sees. So now your hopeless, drowning in sorrow.
Now your sad. Quiet, lost, not you. You've changed. You actually changed a long time ago. But you act so for the world, you didn't. But you have changed. The new you isn't good and dosent have the bestest thoughts.
Now tonight, your gonna cry, all night long. When you wake up, your pillow will be soaked and your eyes will be hurting and be puffy and red. So now you either sleep more, take a cold shower or pretend you got something in your eyes to explain why their red.
Your crying silently that's why nobody hears. They say you should cry out loud, but that might just bring you bad luck.
Help me. I'm losing myself and I can't take it. I want to let it out. On somebody's shoulder on who I can trust and who cares about me. Hats selfish tho, so I'm just gonna smile. It's very painful, but better then being made fun of and called weak.
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A/N This is all true, it happened today and will. I'm not trying to seek attention, I just want to let it all out, and this is the bestest way I can do it. If you feel annoyed or too sad, just go. You don't need to drown with me.
