Catch Me In The Rain

5. Rain in the Morning, Rain in the Night

    Oh the rain. 

   I walked out to the drive way, greeted by cold droplets on my nose. My lungs burned from the air as the rain poured down on top of me, flushing out all the things that happened in the last 24 hours. My fathers car wheezed and coughed, like an old man smoking a cigar, except that cigar was the cold winter air that burned my throat. Air burns my lungs more than cigar smoke, I've known that for a while. 

   I danced to my fathers car, taking deep breaths and wiping the rain on face, flooding out the smell of last night. I opened the car door, annoyed by the heat and stiffness of the old Cadillac. I threw my book bag on the car floor, then sitting onto the cold leather seat. I sank into the coffee stained leather as the smell infected my nostrils, making me nearly gag. 

   "Willow, I need to talk to you." His face glared back at mine, bags under his eyes, beard unshaven, hair not gelled. 

   "Your mother, I mean stepmother, found a bloody cloth next on your carpet this morning."

   I glanced down, pulling my sleeve over my hands, trying not to show my wounds. I let out a sigh 

   "I had um... An accident." YES I USED THE GIRL CARD. Finally I knew it would come in handy.

   "Oh" His eyes widened as he tilted his head to the front windshield.

   We drove in silence to school. I watched as trees and houses flew by like birds flying north. I tried to focus on something else but Marcelines voice was stuck in my head, reminding me of the sudden incidents that occurred only a few days ago. 

   We pulled into school and it's 7:28, I was late to see her. I kissed my father on his scruffy cheek, closed the door, and listened as the engines roar faded in the distance. I walked to the door that led into the girls locker room, thinking that she may be there. The air was stinging my throat and the tip of my nose was numb. I took a deep breath and put my bare hand on the cold medal handle. 

  "Marc?" My voice echoed off the tile, tricking me into thinking it's her. 

  "Marc?" I called her name once more. Unsure that she would answer. 

   I peeked into every locker cove, trying not to miss her bouncy blonde curls. My footsteps grew louder as I approached the bathrooms. I looked into the bathrooms, catching a glimpse of a fringe-lined book bag I've seen far to many times before. 

   "Marc? It's willow." I stammered, trying to swallow the lump in my throat and preparing myself for whatever Marceline says. I turned the corner, leading me into the cluster of stalls that line each wall. A stench of old tampons and unwashed toilets burned my nose, making me gag. 

   Marcelines book bag stood lifeless below the rusted sinks and scratched mirrors. I took a deep breath through my mouth and leaned over, looping my left hand in the leather strap. I picked it up, feeling the weight in my forearm. 

   I stood back up, coming face to face with my reflection. My reflection. My reflection is what terrifies me the most. I stared at the mirror, noticing all the scratches and marks it had. My eyes wandered to the bottom left corner where someone etched the words "you are ugly" into the glass. I stared back up at myself. A tear threatened to fall down my pale face.  

   "See Willow? Even the mirror thinks your ugly, it's telling you so."  The back of my mind whispered, making my eyes shut with a violent rage. I clenched my fist, but I was stopped when a familiar hand touched my shoulder. 

   I suddenly turned around, coming face to face with Marceline. The corners of her bubblegum pink lips curled into an innocent smile. She placed her hand on my cheek, making my fists relax. I stared at her, rubbing my cheek against her palm. 

   "Willow, you are beautiful." The words lingered on her lips, making the word beautiful seem impossible. I reached up and stroked her hand, then pulling it away and putting against her chest. 

   "I think you need the comfort more than me." I said, choking on the last few words. I don't know why I wanted to cry but I just did. I lived in a world with no emotion and then finally, they all just came flooding out of my body, like rain in the night.