suicide

piece by piece

I'm scattered.

Every part of who I am is lost.

Every key to every lock was tossed, and every plan of escape in my mind was subconsciously crossed of the list, like a plot when it twist, I am nothing more than this....I'm scattered.

And I can't compartmentalize the way that I feel inside because my life is constantly criticized like a failed attempt at suicide. How can I see the rainbow if all I am is blue inside?

Truly I am my own Terminator hell bent on witnessing my own destruction because the world has made me view myself as not good enough, not 'hood' enough. My back is breaking from the crushing weight of all these label, like Cars and Cables, cut me off until I am unwilling and unable.

I'm scattered.

My feet are tired and weary from walking a thousand miles just so you can hear me clearly. Trust that what I have to say I've kept inside and held dearly, but I need you to know that my external appearance is not the real me.

The real me, is something I will find when my subconscious state of mind is closer to stability, when the world eases it grip around my throat and I can finally find the room to breathe, and then you'll see. That I'm no Humpty Dumpty, I'll put my self back together again. Piece by piece.