Fix you | Harry Styles

Chapter 9

Eleanor and I became close friends over the last weeks and months. We've decided not to talk about the past anymore, I think both of us are better off that way.

Yes, it's been a while since I saw Harry last, and that's a good thing I think. I've come to the conclusion that I really, honestly fell for him. But it didn't last long. Shaking people out of my head easily is one of my best qualities indeed! I didn't told Eleanor about it that night, there were far more important thing to talk about (like keeping her alive and shit) and I didn't do it up until now.

I'm keeping my shit together by doing loads and loads of work. Anytime, anywhere. Most of the time I spend at the office. But sometimes I even get to work at home, on my sofa, where it's warm and safe. And where the chocolate is.

Now that my employers know I'm friends with 'Louis Tomlinson from One Direction's girlfriend ''Elena Peazer'' ', I'm their star. They're trying to get as much information about him and the rest of the band as they can. Of course, there are a lot of stories to tell. But none of them are true. Because I don't know the boys. Not really. They're gone, all the time. On tour, in the studio, Lord knows. But I'm getting money for telling lies. Little white lies that don't hurt no-one. If they don't hurt anyone, it's okay. That's what my dad used to say. And if he was here, he would've done the same to pull his butt out of the fire.

The next weeks pass, and all of a sudden, I've wasted 5 months of my life by doing so much but nothing at all. Is this what the rest of my life is going to look like? Working from 7 to 9 to pay my bills?

At least I have a true friend by my side. Of course, she's busy as well. She has a bunch of good friends and loves to travel a lot. And on top of that, she has a loving and caring boyfriend that offers her the world. She visits me once in a while, though, and she tells me about all the amazing places she has been to and I will never see. But that's okay as long if I see my friend happy. My sister.

''Ava?'' Eleanor yells out of the kitchen. ''Harry asked me how you're doing!''

''Oh really?'' I wonder while she tries not to drop the drinks in her hands. She carefully sits down next to me and hands me the glass.

''How're you doing?''

''You can tell him I'm just fine!'' I smirk

''Yeah, but he asked several times so I don't think he actually wants to know how you're doing, he just wants to know if you ever think about him''

silence

''I guess'' she finishes the sentence.

''That's absurd'' I laugh ''Why would he care''

''He seemed to care. A lot, lately. He said you two closed up on each other but Perrie interrupted you? And you didn't answer his calls since then''

''What the hell are you talking about!? HE kissed ME. He broke the kiss and HE himself agreed to never talk about the incident again! And since then I never ever, and this I swear to God, received a message or a call from Harry Styles'' I notice that I'm out of breath and try to calm down before my insides explode.

''Why would he even say such things?!'' I scream

Eleanor looks at me, her eyes wide opened. ''I don't know... maybe … he misses you, Ava.''

Why would he even miss me? He would've destroyed me in every way possible if I had stayed that day. I distance myself from the things I know are not best for me. That's how I keep myself from falling apart and ending what has already been ended years ago. Dead but alive. I've been killed but I survived. I disappeared, but I'm still here.

''Well, why don't you just ask him? He's at my house. With Louis''

''But Ava!!'' I try and keep Eleanor's words out of my head. I don't let them get to me. All I wanna think about is beating that suckers ass up as I'm making my way to Eleanor's house. She doesn't chase after me, she's not trying to stop me.

I clanche my fists and knock against the door as hard as I can.

A noticeably perplexed Louis swung the door open and stared at me.

''Where's Harry'' I hiss. Louis points towards the living-room and without a word said, without warning, he appears in my sight. I see amazement and hope in his eyes, but my racing heart pumps the pictures away. All I see are blurred lines and with some animality I take a jump and all of a sudden my hands encompass his throat.

Suddenly, the flames of Eleanor's words reignite in my head. ''It happened. You can't change anything about it. The world changed for you. But you're alive.''

And my body slumped down, seconds before my shoulders are being pulled back and my head hits something real hard.

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Happy new years everyone! I know, it's pretty late but I enjoyed the last days of my holidays as best as I could. So, how did I do that? I spend all my money to watch ''Catching fire'' for the third time in a row and bought the complete Hunger Games trilogy in English because it's just a more beautiful language than German. German isn't romantic at all. So, yeah, I'm basically obsessed with that story (and on top of that, let's be honest, Josh Hutcherson is pretty hot). 

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, even if it's quite short. School starts tomorrow and I'm so depressed right now. I don't wanna go to sleep because I know that when I wake up I'll have to go there again and the same old shit starts over again. Oh well, I'll try to survive. For you. Or my cat. I don't know.

Stay beautiful! I love you. Bea