His forgotten First Love || Killua x Reader

Am I not your friend?

Chapter 4

Ever since Killua had that dream, more and more came up every night he went to bed. He slept more often than he usually did, considering he could actually stay up up to 2 or 3 days straight without being tired out. Alluka questioned his new routine but all he always answered was: "Can't I take one or two naps more than usual?"

In his dreams he always met the girl, or more specifically his younger self did, (Y/n) in his past days. He didn't know how his brain jumbled all the content together, but never did something seem out of place. In fact, he actually believed that his dreams were more believable than his memory itself.

Just the other day he was dreaming how he passed the 4th Phase on the island and (Y/n) was accompanying him the whole time.

They had gotten close very fast together with Gon, but unlike him and Gon during the Hunter Exam, (Y/n) and Killua were inseparable. They did everything together and they loved to joke around.

Killua wondered what the warm feeling he had was when he saw himself together with the cheerful girl. It was a nostalgic feeling similar to the one to when you look through your old photo albums from good old times. He actually always felt happy in his dreams, but at the same time he felt sad for some reason and he missed something.

Killua wondered what kind of dream will come up the next time he enters his dreamland and if he would get to know soon what these dreams could mean.

He hadn't given up on his research on (Y/n) and whenever he is not asleep, he was on his laptop or calling someone who may have known her. He was just as clueless as before.

"It's getting late." he murmured to himself with a glance out of the window, which revealed the late evening sky outside and closed his laptop in the dark living room.

"Alluka? Good night. I'm going to bed." he called through the apartment.

"Good night, Onii-chan!"

And with that he took off to his rather comfortable bed.

~

Killua had just failed the Hunter Exam after killing Bodoro, a man who may or may or may not had become a Hunter that day. It was just a matter of a second and his hand still reeked of Bodoro's blood.

Everyone had stared at him in shock as he had slid his sharp hand into Bodoro's heart, ripping it inwardly. He remembered especially (Y/n)'s widen eyes that stared at him and the corpse in the middle of the room.

"She must have been scared of me." the sixteen year old Killua, who had watched the whole scene in disgust, thought bitterly.

He saw his younger self approaching the big exit, but heard someone speaking to him: " You don't seriously think, I'd let you go without saying good bye, did you?"

Killua turned to see the (h/c) haired girl approaching him. She had her arms crossed but she was smiling at him anyways.

"Why did you come?" Killua asked.

"Idiot." she approached him and flicked his forehead. "I won't let you leave when you're seriously misunderstanding something."

"Misunderstanding?"

She sighed and her eyes got serious. "Killua." She paused. "What am I to you?"

His eyes widened surprised as he stared at the girl.

"...Someone I want to be friends with."

She sighed once again but this time more irritated. "And what is a friend to you?"

"I don't exactly know..." he confessed.

"Shall I tell you what a friend is to me then?" (Y/n) asked.

"Please."

She laid her small hand on his shoulder and her (e/c) eyes looked right into his blue eyes intensely. "To me, a friend is someone I know I can trust. Someone who I enjoy being with and don't regret ever meeting them.
Do you trust me and the others, Killua?"

He stared back into her (e/c) orbs and nodded in honesty. "Yes."

"Do you enjoy being with us? Or was all the fun we had together one-sided?"

"No, it wasn't. I enjoyed every minute."

"Do you regret meeting us, Killua? Do you regret meeting me?"

Killua felt a sting in his heart as he watched the two children conversing. He almost bit his lip all bloody as concentrated as he was.

Killua's younger self shakes his head, now looking ashamed on the ground. He knew where she was going to and he knew that she was right.

"Killua, am I not your friend?"

Killua tightened his hands to fists and shouted: "You are. You all are!"

"Then that's fine." he heard her and shot his head back up seeing a heartwarming smile that had crawled upon her lips.

She turned around raising her hand into a waving position. "Have a good trip back home!"

"You're not going to stop me?"

She looked smirking back to him saying: "It's not like I don't want to, it's just... I have a feeling that it is important for you to do so. And by the way..." she took his hands into her warm ones, "I trust you, that we will see each other again."

Sudden heat crept up to Killua's pale cheeks turning them rosy pink. In his chest his heart was thumping fast and his hands felt sensitive of (Y/n)'s soft touch.

"See you then!" the girl let go of his hands running to the opposite direction Killua was heading to. The boy on the other hand remained on the same spot confused.

"I remember." Killua's older self thought to himself.

"This was the day I first fell in love with (Y/n)."