Vivid Images Of Me

Mental Misdemeanors

With all of the peace in my heart... I must get this stress off my chest and confess my faults, feelings, and wrong doings before it's too late. To my fake friends who were never there for me when I needed you; I had this rage BUT I WAS STUCK IN THIS CAGE THAT I WAS AFRAID TO OPEN, because I thought you'll never like me if I did. I was kicked in the dirt, but you never even BOTHERED to lift up the sleeves of my shirt to see how bad I was hurt; you just called me crazy, which was lazy, because all I ever wanted to feel was normal. Now, I do all of my new friends like an experiment, they ask me why I always assume the worse, and I tell them that that all that I've experienced. To the kids who used to bully me, who used to hit on me, who tried to spit on me, who gave me hell, and told me to go kill myself, I would like to thank you, and I'm happy to say, that if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be where I am to this day. To the rapists and the sexual harassers, I would like to middle finger you bastards, because y'all were nothing but a disaster. Guess who gets upset when they hear the word 'virginity' in the same vicinity?! It's me! But I'm OVER THAT! Because I can't rehearse it, I can't reverse it, and I can't reimburse it. To my father, whoo, I've been waiting for this one. You belittled me and left me when I was small, then you got a new family and I didn't feel welcome at all. You wanted us to spend time together, but I was stuck in a dilemma, and I began to cry because I liked it better when y'all were together, instead of pulling me apart, screaming "MINE!" You say you want me to spend the weekend with you, and you tell me I'm gonna have a ball, but you don't show up and you don't call. How that work? You complain that we never talk, but when I try to talk to you more, you press ignore, and you go on about your business. How that work? I go through things in life that you know NOTHING ABOUT so don't question me if you were never there for me in the first place. To my mother, we do have our moments of course, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, of course, and there's nothing better that I could ever ask for. To my step dad, I love you, man. You are cooler than you seem, and even though you say stuff you don't mean, I don't think that changes anything. You're funny, uplifting, protective, and you're the person to talk to when anything goes down. To my siblings, I love y'all, y'all there for me when I fall, and we've been through thick and thin ever since we were small. To my rock, I would like to thank you for being a part of my journey, because I'm learning, and being more open. To my friends, I would like to thank you for helping me through thick and thin even though life just gets thicker. To my exes of both sexes, who only knew how to roll up a blunt and stunt, and then tried to front, but tried to impress me, but you only depressed me, because all you wanted to do was sex me. And to all of my lost loves, wait no it's actually your loss, because you assumed the wrong shit, and made it seem like it was my fault. But I'm done; but lastly, a letter to self, you gotta always remember to get back up...

By: Jay