razor blades // phan

o n e

T/W: Self harm & swears etc included

A/N OK SO THIS IS MY FIRST FIC SO IM SORRY IF ITS SHIT. BUT I TRIED. PLEASE COMMENT AMD STUFF TO TELL ME IF IM MAKING MISTAKES AND WHAT I SHOULD DO IN THE FUTURE THANK YOU 🖤🖤

Third person P.O.V

Dan woke up awoke up to his alarm beeping loudly. He went over to the mirror to find a puffy red eyed him groggily staring back. He hadn't slept properly since what seemed like forever. He just wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep but he knew he had to go to school.

Dan got in the shower and got dressed and ready for school. He looked at the time and saw he had 15 minutes to leave. He sat on his bed and put his head in his hands. As he looked up again a silver glint on his bedside table caught his eye. His razor.

He rolled up his sleeves to see the scars on his arms and slashed them open again. Tears fell from his eyes and blood trickled down his arms. His alarm went off again signalling that he had to make his way to school.

He walked into school with his head hung low hoping that no one would notice him. He usually would go unnoticed but recently he has been targeted by a specific group of boys who have been bullying him. He made his way to his first lesson-English-and went straight to the back of the classroom to his usual seat. His teacher took the register and when she finished, she told the class that there was a new student joining them, Phil Lester.

"Ok class, I want you all to be extremely welcoming to Phil as he is still trying to get to know how things work around here. Now Phil, I see there is a seat next to Dan. I assure you he is a very nice student, even though he may seem a bit, um, unapproachable at times... ha..."

Dans P.O.V

My head snapped up as I heard the teacher say my name. I wasn't really listening to what she was saying but when I looked up I saw the most amazing looking guy I had ever seen. Shit. I mustn't think like that. Fuck I'm so stupid. I'm a stupid faggot.

I saw him walking towards me so I guessed the teacher had told him to sit by me. Part of me wanted to thank her but the other part hated her because it just made everything more difficult. I can normally concentrate in English as I actually enjoy it but this time was different. I just couldn't think straight while Phil was there. It was like he had some sort of control over me. He is so fucking gorgeous. FUCK. I need to stop thinking. My hands started itching towards my bag which held my razors. I deserved to be punished. I'm just a stupid fucking ugly faggot.

Then he started speaking to me and Jesus fucking Christ he was amazing. No. I can't think that. I must hurt myself.

"Hey"

"Oh, um, hi"

"So, I don't understand this. Do you?"

"Um I'm-I-I can't speak to you. I have to go"

And with that I just got up and ran. I ran to the toilets that I had gotten so used to. I locked myself in a cubicle, rolled up my sleeves, and started cutting. So much blood. Everywhere. It stung so fucking much but the pain was good. I needed it. I had to erase my thoughts. And by harming myself, I could do that, at least while the pain lasted.

I can't stop the thoughts. They hurt. So I hurt myself to stop them. It makes sense, right?

I don't know what to do.

Phils P.O.V

I watched Dan get up and grab his bag, but while he was reaching down to get it, I saw his sleeves role up to reveal countless bloody scars. My stomach flipped and it took me a moment to pull myself together. A few seconds later, I stood up and ran out of the room, desperately trying to find Dan before he did anything. I finally the toilets and went in. I heard sobbing. I knew it was Dan. I started banging on the door and trying to open it. I finally managed to break it open.

Dans P.O.V

I was sobbing uncontrollably when I heard footsteps and then someone frantically banging on the door. I just sat there. Covered in my own blood and tears as the door broke open. Phil was standing there, staring at me but I just stayed looking down. Not moving.

"Dan...please. Let me help you."

"NO. I FUCKING DESERVE THIS. IM JUST A PEICE OF SHIT."

"No one deserves this. Especially not you."

"You don't fucking know me. Leave me alone."

And with that I passed out from all the tears, blood and shouting.