razor blades // phan

t w o

T/W: Self harm, suicide & swears etc included

A/N: OK SO CHAPTER TWO. ITS SHIT AND RUSHED BUT YEAH. I TRIED SO ;-;

Phils P.O.V

I was so scared. He just passed out. I had only jut realised how much blood he had lost. It was horrible. I couldn't stop shaking and Dan had gone sheet white. It was like the blood was draining out of his body and wouldn't stop. I started crying. I didn't know what I should do. I bent down and picked him up. I carried him to the nurses office and they called an ambulance.

I wasn't allowed to go with him and I had to return to lessons, even though all I could think about was Dans crumpled body, lying in a heap on the floor covered in blood. The image was burned into my eyes.

School finally finished, and I went straight to the hospital to see how Dan was. When I got there, I asked where he was and a nurse pointed me to the ward he was on. I ran there and when I saw him, I fell into the chair next to the bed.

After about an hour of me sitting there, Dans eyes started to flutter.

Dans P.O.V

I opened my eyes to white blinding lights and I had no idea where I was or how I got there. I wanted to scream but I couldn't move. I felt paralysed and I just didn't want to carry on. I managed to tilt my head slightly and saw Phil looking at me with a relieved expression set on his face.

I don't know how I did it, but I realised what had happened and then I started shouting at Phil.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT"

"Dan, I want to help. Please?"

"NO, YOU FUCKING RUINED EVERYTHING AGAIN. WHY COULDNT YOU JUST LET ME DIE? IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER FOR EVERYONE THAT WAY."

"I don't even know what I did wrong. I just wanted to help. It's just that-"

Phils P.O.V

"I don't even know what I did wrong. I just wanted to help. It's just that-"

No. I can't say that. I promised myself I would block it out. Shit. I'm crying. I need to get out of here. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

"Phil? I'm sorry. What's wrong? Do you want to talk?"

Dans P.O.V

What the fuck am I doing? Asking Phil to talk. I'm a stupid fucking idiot. But he seems really upset. I want to help him...

"No dan. I don't want to talk. I don't want to relive it again..."

"Ok. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry I shouted. Is not your fault. It's mine. It always is and always will be."

What am I saying? I can't let him know anything.

"Dan it's ok. It's not your fault. And it never will be. And also, where are your parents?"

"Oh, um, they're not really interested in my life. The nurses called them to tell them that I was almost fucking dead and guess what they said? Can you call back later because we're in a meeting. They don't care."

"Dan I'm so sorry. They sound horrible"

"I'm used to it."

Why am I telling him this? I don't know why but I feel like I can trust him. His eyes are so blue, I could just lose myself in them. SHIT. I can't think like that. Stupid faggot.

Phils P.O.V

We both have tears streaming down our faces but we just sit there in silence. I don't know what to say. Why would any parent be like that. I mean, at least he is lucky to have his mum and dad. NO. I don't want to think about this. No.

After a few hours of both of us sitting there and getting to know each other a bit (we both love TØP, MCR, dodie, Troye Sivan and loads more), I get up to leave. But I thought I heard Dan whisper something.

"Please don't leave me."

I didn't know what he said so I said goodbye and left. Later that night while I was doing my homework, I needed the toilet, so I went out to the landing to go to the bathroom. I walked in and looked at the bath. I broke out into a cold sweat and could only think of that horrible memory.

I was 12 years old and I got home from school to find police cars around my house. I was scared so I ran inside. I heard talking upstairs so I went up. The bathroom door was open and I made my way in. What I saw was horrible. I wanted to die. My mum. Lying in the bath, in a tub full of her own blood mixed with water. I saw her arms. They had massive cuts all over them. Everything went blurry. I didn't know what to do. I screamed. That's when my dad realised that I was there. He was crying. So was I. And my mum was dead. Gone. Forever.

Ever since then it's just been me and my dad. We have both tried to block out the image but it was burned into both of our eyes. We miss her but we have managed to get by together.

So, that's why I completely freaked when I saw Dan. I kept on having flashbacks. Thinking over and over again, this can't be happening. Not again.