Ash POV
As I look at her, my heart breaks along with hers, I know others will take this chance to make a move, but I can't do that to her. I don't want to force myself on her when she's already beaten. There were so many chances we didn't take, because we both know that it won't help us, that if we did made that move it will forever break us. Lay's shadow will always be between us. Envy, jealousy, insecurity, all these things will be there. We settle on this much stronger relationship, friendship, with understanding and trust, she knows how I feel and I know hers.
As our lips shared that gentle kiss I know there won't be an US until those feelings she keeps for Lay are gone. Her tears keep on falling, she desperately wants to be with me and just forget Lay, I can see it in her eyes, the agonizing pain she feels, doubles mine. Why can't her heart see that I can give her what she deserves? What she needs.
I saw someone standing near us; turning around before she could see that I saw her. She didn't move that fast so I saw the pain in her welling eyes. I know she feels the same way for Ray. She's just so stupid she can't decide on it. And damn we all hang out at the edge; I'm so ready to jump in. I want to take Ray's hand and just leave her sorry ass behind. How could she do this to Ray? We all know too well how she feels, she's so lucky I'm more interested on giving what Ray wants. If not I would have taken this opportunity.
Damn the world's irony, having someone you love, but he or she loves someone else who doesn't love her or him back. Oh wait, she do love her back, she just don't want them to be in that relationship because her reputation is more important.
Damn her. And damn this situation. I'm the third wheel here, they should be together and I should just suck it up. But! No! How can I go on? When this moment comes? When finally Ray is walking forward, and stepping out of that loop they've been in? Maybe I should grab her hand and run to my house, lock ourselves to my room and just show her how I feel. Make her forget her heart and just go with her brain and her body.
But yeah, I said it before we can't move on to that coz we both know it will end up bad. We are just too good of a friend that we can't even hook up even just for once.
So what could I do for her? I think I need to talk to that running girl. She's so good with that running out, and finding the easiest way out.
I shush Ray to calm down; she really breaks down this time. "Ray, want to go home? I don't think you have the energy to go back in, we can cut classes. " I offered.
"Hhhhmmmm...." She answered. I think she's beginning to fall asleep.
I help her get up and called someone to take care of our things. We walk to the parking, I open my car door for her and help Ray settle on the car seat.
I wonder if she has any idea on what's going on right now, it's like her mind just shuts off with everything she was facing.
"Where would you like to go? Yours or mine?"I asked her again as I hold the cars gear.
"Can we go somewhere else? I want something to occupy my mind, so I won't be able to think." She said in a very tired voice.
"Arcade? Baseball batting cage? Ice rink?" I suggested.
"Ah, you're the ever sports geek. Whatever you find the most interesting." She teased.
I think she's recovering or at least trying to.
I smiled at her. I drove to the nearest batting cage, she needs to release those pent up emotions. And I think smashing the balls or trying to hit them will do that.
And so, here I am watching her try to hit those balls being thrown to her, while thinking the matters at hand. If only Lay can realise how lucky she is to have this girl, if only she's not that blind. I really need to talk to her. I know most of you would think I'm stupid, giving up this chance to make her forget and letting the other girl have her, but I think I'll regret something if I don't do this for them.
I take my phone out and message Lay to say I'll come over later to talk and not to hide or she'll regret it.
"Ray lets go, I need to talk to someone and you need to take a rest," I call her.
"Ash I don't need to rest if I do I'll have time to think and I might crawl back to her and say something that will bring us back to pretending friends just so I can still stay close to her." See what I mean when I say I'll regret it, we both have it bad. I just wish it was me.
"No, Ray we need to go. Stop draining yourself. It will be much better tomorrow I promise. If it's not I'll pitch for you myself till you're satisfied." I bargained.
"Ok, but l need a pill to make me fall asleep, and I know you have some." She gave me the look.
Yup the one I can't turn down.
I have them for my mild insomnia. "Ok, I'll give you one." I got two kinds one that will let you sleep all night and one that will just last for five hours. And if my plan goes right Lay and Ray will be together before this day ends, so I can't let Ray sleep all the way till morn.
