Now i know what you're thinking this is gonna be some cliche book with a happy ending, and if thats what you're looking for you've come to the wrong place, truth is it doesn't have an ending.
It all started in a little blue house on a road called Maple St. with my brother, mother and her no good boyfriend. i was 6 when i moved in there, about a year later i met my best friend at a little lemonade stand a few houses down.
She was a cute little red head named abigail. we became best friends instantly five years down the road still glued to her side, i loved her so much, she was the only person i trusted when the nights got cold, i didn't really understand everything yet why mom would cry or Matt would lash out or why her boyfriend yelled.
As the years go on it gets clearer. Mom couldn't afford the little blue house anymore and her boyfriend grew tiresome of the same old fights, so we moved to a very small apartment above a bar on Queen St. that had no lock and a neighbour that offered beer.
She would leave for hours on end, swearing she'd be back in less than an hour, waking up the next day she'd be passed out on the couch next to me, but the cycle continued same old "ill be back" but the moments ticked by and i began to grow tired, so i fell asleep alone with my dog with the door unlocked and the creepy neighbour that offered beer.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
A year later i was staying at abigail's, mom wasn't answering her phone, then my dad called, he was with my brother which is an unusual thing, he told me to get my shit together and that he'd be there to pick me up in a few minutes, i was unsure what was going on he wouldn't tell me, i threw my bag in the car and slumped into the cold seat.
neither of them would look at me, it was a silent car ride no one dared to cut the thick quietness afraid of what may come next. we soon arrived to my nana's confused i stepped down from the truck and walked inside, i didn't know i would remember this moment for the rest of my life.
i stepped through the entrance to crying eyes and open arms, but still no one said a word and it stayed like that for a while until someone got the courage to choke out the words "your mom" and then i knew instantly
i was numb there weren't any tears it was too surreal, so temporary feeling. with that i walked off and sat alone starring at the floral wallpaper that was starting to fade and said nothing.
im not really sure what happened after that, we gave away my dog and i moved in with my dad and my other grandparents, the funeral was a few days later.
i approached the old smelling building and still said nothing, dad and matt followed a few steps behind pushing open the glass doors i immediately spotted a cushioned chair i sat down and let out a deep breath, i didn't notice i was holding.
it was an open casket, didn't look like her she was frowning and her red hair was stiff, the people sobbed but i just starred finally letting a tear slip one after another, but papa ran over and ordered they close it
that wasn't her that was just a shell of a woman they didn't know, with pricked skin and a decade nose from kissing snow. they didn't know her like i did they didn't see what she tore herself to, even if they did they ignored it, thinking that if they didn't see it it would go away
But it grew louder and she grew weaker so they cut her off making her feel worthless and that her daddy didn't love her, she tried to find her real parents but her mother shot herself, she stopped digging after that
that woman was the same woman that walked the rainy streets with me, eating only what we could afford making what we had work, cuddling up to the tv and watched the reruns that were played at 3am god did i miss her
its been almost 4 years now still best friends with abigail, and a cute blonde named lindsey. she was quite a girl, bold and sometime quite loud yet i loved her so, same with little kassandra quiet brown haired girl that kept to her self but loved thrill but the same routine days continued, wake up, apply makeup, go to school, sleep, repeat until the weekends came and most misfits drank to forget and the kids with daddys money spent what they could.
the first party i went to was the first time i thought i saw death, i got so wasted my friend had to carry me to tim hortons where i passed out on his shoulder, i murmured i don't feel well and out it spewed, they rushed me to the bathroom where i proceeded to cover the floor with the remedy to forget. i don't remember how i left but i woke up in my friends bed and continued to spit out last night. swearing i was never gonna drink again.
the days stayed the same and the nights drew colder, i began to become close with a boy that had bright blue eyes and a temper. we spent more and more time with each other. over time naturally i got attached but he only grew annoyed and his little heart became depressed and away those blue eyes went.
soon enough another boy came along it started with a simple hey and so the friendship began everyday we discussed the mishaps of the day and his daily stoned state, he began to speak of a girl, and i began to want his attention but away it went with the girl with the hotter body and a laugh he loved so much
i began to realize that it was always going to be the same cycle, all my friends got boyfriends and college applications and i stayed quite in my room with the door shut and music that made me feel something other than nothing with my mind in a book that took me away from the world i thought i hated so much
{hope you liked the first little bit a comment would be appreciated thank you lovely's<3}
