There's Always Tomorrow - AQ

Chapter 5:

Quinn finally made it back to the apartment about midnight and Adrianne shot up from the place on the couch that she had been sitting for the last few hours. The blonde stopped in silence and the two shared a look. Adrianne's eyes were asking if everything was okay, while Quinn's seemed to be searching her for some sort of answer to a question she had yet to ask. "Are you drunk?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and even smiled faintly before she took off her coat. "No. I didn't have my bodyguard with me."

"Right. I just wasn't sure if that applied in this case..."

"Adrianne..." The brunette shuffled on her feet, eager to see what her crushes' night of soul searching had yielded. "I'm okay. I just need to know that you aren't going to do something like that again. While I am flattered by your interest, I'm not gay."

She tried to hide it as she deflated. "Right. No, I wont try and do that again. I didn't mean to cause you to feel uncomfortable. I guess I was just reading the wrong signs." She was sure she wasn't, but that was what Quinn needed to hear at the moment. "And I'll completely understand if you start locking your bedroom door at night. I'll try not to take it personally."

Quinn huffed a laugh and hung her jacket up. "I don't think that is necessary. To be honest, if a woman had done that to me a month ago, I would have completely freaked out and done everything in my power to make sure I never saw her again. But you're different."

"I'm different?" Adrianne asked nervously, shifting her eyes around the room and placing her hands in her back jean pockets before returning her eyes to the blonde's. This was a good sign and she was trying not to grin like a teenager in love.

"Yeah. I mean, before, I would have felt that keeping my distance from you was what I was suppose to do, but now... I'm not going by what I'm 'suppose' to do, but what I want to do. You're like, the closest friend I've had in years. Possibly in my life. I'm not going to cut you out of my life just because of a misunderstanding. I just need you to respect my sexuality as much as I respect yours."

Adrianne nodded. "Yeah. Sure. Of course. I, um... I will keep my hands and lips to myself unless you start it first." Quinn smiled with a little blush as she dropped her eyes again. "Was that not respecting your 'straightness'?"

"No. That was just you being you." The blonde stated, finally taking another step further into the apartment. "I can deal with that."

"Well, that's good. I might be able to keep my hands off of you but I've always had issues keeping my mouth shut." Quinn gasped playfully and went wide eyed. "I know. It's shocking, isn't it?"

"Completely. I would have never guessed."

"Sure you wouldn't have. So... now that I know you aren't off drunk and having to try a push an army of guys off of you, I think I will head off to bed."

"Okay." Quinn nodded and waved her hand slightly. "I think I will as well. The cold air has made me a little sleepy."

"Then I guess I'll see you in the morning." She nodded again and Adrianne walked toward her bedroom, keeping the distance of the apartment between them so she didn't freak the blonde out any more. She kept the soft smile on her face until she disappeared into her room and shut the door and frowned. It started as a low growl and she fell face first onto her bed and then muffled her cry of frustration in her pillow. What was taking Quinn so long? They had known each other for over a month, lived together peacefully, she said she was the best friend she had ever had, she's complimented her and been complimented by her, she's blushed, giggled, flirted... Adrianne decided it was Angela's fault. Not really, but she would still blame her anyway. She had gotten the brunette's hope up that all it would take was that little kiss. At least it didn't ruin anything. Adrianne would just have to keep waiting.

The thought made the older woman let out a long sigh as she rolled over on her back to stare at her ceiling fan. She didn't know how much longer she was going to last. Quinn did things to her, made her feel different compared to everyone else that she had dated in the past. She felt... understood on so many different levels. And that only caused her attraction to the beautiful and sexy blonde to escalate.

Quinn walked into her room and shut the door as well, but didn't make it to her bed. She leaned backward against the door and dropped her head back to bounce against it as she let out an identical sigh. That kiss... that fraction of a second connection... she knew it had changed her life forever. She just needed to decide when she would let the rest of the world know it. Or let herself believe it without trying to mold it into being something else like friendship or admiration. Tomorrow? Next week? Never? She closed her hazel eyes and slowly slid down the door until she was sitting with her knees against her chest and her head in her hands.

This had never been such a problem before. Just ignore it. It had always been so simple, but not now. Not with Adrianne. She just put everything right in front of the blonde and told her to just reach out and take it. It was the ultimate temptation because there were no strings attached, nothing to run from. She didn't have to worry about her parents disowning her; she had disowned them. She didn't have to worry about her friends' approval; she didn't have any. All she had to do was take it, everything that she had wanted.

Quinn sighed again and stood up, pulling her shirt over her head to get ready for bed. She may have just needed to take it, but that still required the courage to do it.

~/~/~/~

"I hate you." Adrianne stated flatly as she walked up to where Angela was sitting. The woman didn't pay her any attention. "I kissed her."

Angela's light eyes lifted to the brunette's as she took a seat and her mouth hung open. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"You said all she needed was a little push."

"I said that she may need a little push. There's a difference. You were suppose to use your better judgment. I don't know the girl."

Adrianne rolled her eyes and dropped her bag in a huff.

"So, that bad, huh?"

"She nearly climbed out the window, stayed out most of the night, and then could barely look at me this morning."

There was an awkward silence between the former lovers until Angela shrugged gently. "Well, is there any chance that she's actually straight?"

"No."

"You sound certain."

"I am. I can't tell you how many times I've seen her checking out my ass or my boobs."

"That doesn't always make someone gay." Adrianne looked at her with an arched eyebrow. "Okay. Most of the time it does, but maybe she's one of those rare exceptions."

"She's not." Adrianne stated forcefully, in a bit of a huff as she pulled out her notebook and readied herself for the lecture to begin. "She's just in denial."

Angela studied her for a long second out of the corner of her eye until Adrianne got frustrated and looked at her, wanting her to just ask the question already. "Is this about winning for you? You wont be happy until she accepts it or something?"

"No. I mean, I want her to accept it but that's only because she's making herself miserable. But I genuinely like her. She gets-"

"Gets you. Yeah, I remember you saying that." The dark skinned woman stated, bitterly.

"Oh... you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous. You and I are over."

Adrianne smirked and stared as her ex turned in her seat and started writing notes. "We are and you called it off. Is that why you wanted to meet her so badly?"

"No."

"I think it is."

"I think you are hallucinating. I'm interested as your friend."

"Uh-huh."

"Adrianne..."

"What?"

"You're missing the lecture and you're staring is really starting to get on my nerves."

Adrianne continued to stare at the woman until she looked up at her again. "Admit it."

"Fine. I am mildly jealous. You and I are over and yes, I did call it off. No, I don't want to be with you again. It's just the principal of the thing. You're my latest ex and you have feelings for someone. I'm happy for you but still... there is that awkwardness."

The brunette looked down to her papers. "Yeah, I know. But do you have any other suggestions on how to help her realize things any faster?"

Angela sat back in her seat and tapped her pen against her desk. "Make her jealous. That will get the emotions flowing. I'm not saying bring a chick home and fuck her so Quinn has to listen to it all night. I'm just saying... maybe she catches you making out with a woman instead. That should be enough."

Adrianne pursed her lips in deliberation. "I think I could do that."

"Make out with someone? I'm sure you could manage that just fine."

"Are you offering?" She teased with a grin.

Angela glared at her. "Not hardly."

~/~/~/~

"So, what are you doing tonight? Editing?" Adrianne asked teasingly as she sat down on the sofa next to Quinn. It had been a week since she tried to kiss the blonde. Things had pretty much gone back to normal, but Quinn had retreated into her shell a little bit. She didn't seem uncomfortable around Adrianne, just... more aware of their interactions. It was killing the brunette because every time it happened, she just wanted to try and ease her fears, coax her back out. But that would only cause the blonde to pull away again. She decided that if this whole jealousy thing didn't work, she'd just leave her alone and wait.

Adrianne had stayed up for hours one night when she realized that she was willing to actually wait for someone. She had always said she would wait for Quinn, but only now did she realize just how out of character it was for her. She never waited. If someone wasn't on the same page as her, then it was their loss. It wasn't the thrill of the chase that had her hooked either. It was something different. She just instantly cared. I mean, she always cared about people, but this was a deeper caring. She wanted to be the one that was there for Quinn, not just to help her through whatever she was dealing with silently, but for anything that would come after that. She wanted to be the one to just hold her and keep away the stress and pain of the outside world. But first, she needed Quinn to realize if she wanted that as well or not.

"I was actually going to head out to the library. I need to grab a few books for a history paper. You?"

Adrianne shrugged. "Nothing much. Just a date."

"A date?" Quinn asked, trying not to sound too interested. "Same girl as last time?"

Adrianne shook her head. "No. I told you things wouldn't work out with her. This is a different one. She's actually in your psychology class. The blonde that sits in the center of the third row and always wears those incredibly low cut tops."

Quinn swallowed hard. "Where are you taking her?" Her voice was weaker than she was expecting and Adrianne had to try and hide her smile.

"I haven't decided yet. It's our first date so I might just stick with dinner, but a movie might be nice too." The blonde only nodded in response. "So... when do you think you will be home tonight?"

"Do I need to find somewhere else to stay?"

"What? No! No. I'm..." Adrianne laughed nervously. "I'm not the type to just randomly hook up with someone. If anything goes down it would only be kissing. I was just asking so I could have her out of here before then. I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. That's all." And jealous.

Quinn shrugged but wouldn't look up after she dropped her eyes back down to the book in her lap. "Why would I be uncomfortable. I told you I wasn't homophobic."

"Right. I was just thinking because this is our space, and after what happened-"

"Nothing happened." Quinn tried to laugh it off. "It was a misunderstanding, right?"

Adrianne nodded and propped her elbow on the back of the couch, her fingers running through her hair. "Right. Okay then. I wont worry about it if you're not uncomfortable with it." Quinn forced herself to smile faintly, meeting Adrianne's eyes before dropping them back down to her book.

Later that night, Quinn dreaded going home. She trusted Adrianne's word that she wouldn't walk in on her having sex, but she still didn't really want to walk in on the brunette being intimate at any level with someone. It was making her uncomfortable, but not in a way that she was willing to admit. But as always, she pushed it down and tried to ignore it. It was Adrianne's apartment. Adrianne's life. She had no reason to not want the older woman to find a connection with someone... else.

Quietly she turned the key and opened the door quietly, hoping she could sneak into her room unnoticed. She didn't want to meet the woman's date. It was going to be hard enough not burning a hole into the back of her head in class the next day. Quinn pulled off her jacked and hung it up just inside the door before shouldering her bag and making her way further into the apartment. She stopped, however, at the first moan. One more step and she peeked around the corner to see Adrianne sitting sideways on the couch, the other blonde sitting in front of her, a leg on each side of her hips.

Quinn couldn't look away as she watched the two share deep kisses. Her eyes followed as Adrianne's hand ran down the girl's side to the small of her back, and how the blonde reacted to the touch, arching into the brunette's body. Quinn wanted that. She wanted to be the one so into the kiss that when she pulled away to get air, it was only a quick gasp before their lips reconnected. She wanted to be the one to have those gentle warm hands on her, feeling them against her skin. She wanted to know how Adrianne kissed. Their kiss had been too brief to find out even that much. The other blonde looked like she was already addicted...

Adrianne smiled into the next kiss and leaned forward, laying her date back on the couch and bringing her other hand up to the armrest for support as she hovered over her. The smile was enough to form a lump in Quinn's throat and cause her to retreat, leaving her bag but grabbing her jacket as she headed back out the door.

~/~/~/~

By midnight, Adrianne was getting worried. She had already sent her date home when Quinn didn't show up and the other blonde was starting to push for more. She knew Quinn was reserved and knowing that Adrianne had had sex with someone she had just met would probably be a very big turn off for her. She had tried calling Quinn's cell phone but she never picked up. Now she was about to grab her jacket and start a one woman man search, but she heard a knock at the door.

"Adrianne..." It was Quinn. "I can't find my keys. Can you open the door?"

The brunette let her tense shoulders fall and rolled her eyes before hanging up her coat again and moving to the door. Adrianne opened the door and didn't even have time to say how worried she had been before Quinn's hands were on her face and her lips were crushed against hers as the blonde nearly tackled her to the ground in her eagerness. She couldn't even speak. When she opened her mouth, Quinn pushed her tongue in and began a feverish exploration which Adrianne surrendered to, closing the door and then backing Quinn up against it. One hand pressed against the cold door while the other rested on the blonde's upper back.

She moaned and matched Quinn's passion taking in every sensation in fear that it would end at any second, but there was something familiar to the foreign taste of the younger woman's mouth. "You're drunk." Adrianne managed to say, pulling away, only to have Quinn follow and pull her back against the door.

"I am."

Adrianne pulled her mouth away again, painfully wanting to continue. "I'm not doing this with you if you're drunk."

Quinn huffed a laugh and didn't allow the brunette to walk away, arching her body to give her more contact and more temptation. "Yes you are." She whispered, staring at the older woman's mouth with a smirk of her own. "Because you want me."

Adrianne growled in her frustration, knowing she was right. Even as she stood there and debated in her mind, her hand was drifting down to the blonde's lower back, pulling her even closer. The brunette dropped her forehead to her hand on the door over Quinn's shoulder and tried to find the strength to pull away as the other woman ran her fingers through her hair and placed light kisses along her jaw line. "Why can't you be sober?"

"Because I'm a coward."

"You're not a coward." She corrected her, lifting her head to see those hazel eyes. "You're scared but you're not a coward. But you have nothing to be afraid of anymore."

"I can't be gay."

"Yes you can be. Clearly you are and that's okay." Quinn shook her head and tried to pull out of Adrianne's grasp to storm off, unable to listen to this now, but the brunette just pulled her closer. "Quinn, stop."

"No." She tried to pull away again, pushing against Adrianne's shoulders but she wouldn't let go and they began to struggle with each other.

"Stop. Just stop."

"No! I can't be. It's not right. It's wrong. It's a sin and you're going to Hell!" She continued to push and twist in the brunette's arms as the tears poured down her face and she eventually gave in to them. She sobbed and allowed Adrianne to cradle her, shushing her and gently running her hand over her head as the blonde leaned into her shoulder. "I can't be."

"You can't keep pretending you're not, Quinn. Look at what it's doing to you." She whispered as her heart went out to the blonde who was breaking in her arms. "I know you're scared, but you're not alone. I'm here." Adrianne tightened her gentle hold and felt Quinn sink into it further, feeling the comfort and security that she was offering and that the younger woman was needing so desperately. She held her there for what seemed like an hour until Quinn finally lifted her head and wiped away the tear residue from her cheeks.

"I'm sorry." It was barely a whisper.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Adrianne assured her as the blonde covered her face in embarrassment. The older woman brushed the stray strands of golden hair out of her face that had come loose from their pony tail during their struggle. "So... is this why you always want a body guard when you're drunk?"

Quinn laughed lightly and dropped her hands. She mashed her lips between her teeth and shook her head. "No. Not exactly."

"Well, maybe one day you'll feel comfortable enough with me to share that piece on information." She couldn't even look Adrianne in the eyes for more than a second at a time so Adrianne pulled her into another light hug, easing her fears further. "You're not alone. Just remember that. There are people going through the same thing and people who are going to support you as well."

"I just... this goes against everything that I have ever been taught. I'm not suppose to feel this way about you or about girls in general."

Adrianne had to calm her heart after hearing the confirmation that Quinn had feelings for her as well. "So some people say."

"So the Bible says."

"Oh, you mean that book that a bunch of men put together from stories several hundred years old? But if you really want to use that as your justification, then I hate to break it to you... but you're already going to Hell." The blonde stepped back and looked at her in confusion. Adrianne grabbed her wrist and pulled back the bracelet she had on her right arm. "You have a tattoo. The Bible states that God commands that you are not allowed to cut yourself or tattoo yourself. It may be faint, but it's still there. And maybe you can explain to me one day what 'what words miss' actually means, because I can't figure it out for the life of me."

Quinn stared at her wrist for a second and then quickly pulled it from the brunette's hands, unaware that she had seen it before. "I don't remember that in the Bible."

"Leviticus. My mother is a very Catholic woman." She explained with a bounce of her head. "Yet, she loves me and is supportive of me as well. So, like I said, there are people who are going to support you." Quinn still didn't seem to settled on the Bible topic. "Come have a seat and let me tell you a few other things that the Bible says."

Reluctant, yet interested, Quinn followed and took a seat on Adrianne's bed with her.

"Also in Leviticus, and I will even loosely quote: 'You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your fields with two kinds of seeds, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.' And I would bet good money that the shirt you are wearing has more than one material."

Quinn sat stunned. "I've been taught the Bible and I don't remember hearing any of that."

"Ah! That's because you were 'taught' the Bible. If you ever want your eyes opened to what you are so bent on living your life by, try reading it. Hell, even that gold cross you're wearing is a sin. I quote: 'I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly gems.' You're just racking them right on up there. And I bet you you're righteous Mommy and Daddy were even the one's that bought you that sparkly cross. Did you ever go against your parents wishes before?"

The blonde laughed and nervously ran her hand through her hair, pulling it loose from her hair band before propping her arm against the back of the sofa. "Once or twice."

"Then the Bible says they should have stoned you to death. A little harsh, don't you think?"

"If they were to stone me, wouldn't they be committing a sin by killing me?"

"Don't you love the Bible. Because that isn't a sin. They have God's permission to put you through a brutal and painful death... but you can't wear that gold cross. So... yes, the Bible says that homosexuality is wrong. But it also says that people can't have round hair cuts. Your thoughts?"

"I think... I might want to actually read the Bible... when I'm sober. Because right now my head is spinning a little bit."

Adrianne leaned over and patted her hand on the blonde's thigh. "Let me know how that goes for you and if you are maybe interested in trying to redo the earlier events of this evening."

Quinn smiled faintly and blushed a bit as Adrianne stood up.

"But if nothing else... can we work on this storm off thing and not coming back until after midnight. I care about you and you make me worry. Also, drink some water before you pass out on the couch. It will help with your hangover in the morning."

"Really?"

The brunette nodded and turned, heading to her bedroom. "You have a lot of life to catch up on."