Bouquets of Laughter

Chapter 2: Send Nudes

Dedicated to my new friend Rukhsana_K! She's oh so kind and can warm your soul with a blink of an eyeball! Check out her story because it is AMAZEBALLS and definitely not full clichés. You won't regret it!

excuse the errors and typos :^)

"How exactly did the snake get from behind the toilet to the kitchen sink?" I ask.

Dani shrugs and replies, "He followed me out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. When I turned around, there he was! So I grabbed some crab-claws and placed him into the sink. Gently, though. No animal-abuse 'round these neck 'o the woods."

"Crab claws," I repeat, "you mean 'tongs'?"

Dani, with his hands on his hips and his focus on the snake, nods his head vigorously. "Yeah, those," he says.

The owner of the lovely estate, Mister and Missus Handel, walk into the kitchen with their arms linked. Talk about relationship goals! Dani and I quickly block acsess to the sink.

Mr. Handel turns to us and says, "Good evening, you two. Everything alright?"

Dani quickly responds, "Yes sir, everything is as jolly as Santa Clause!"

Mr. Handel chuckles and kisses his wife on the cheek. "Seems like someone's ready to be opening gifts tonight!"

"Well," he continues, "I'll leave you two alone. I'm grabbing our guests some wine." He opens two cabinets and pulls out two wine bottles, each of a different color. With a bottle in each hand, he uses one to gesture a goodbye. With that, he and his lovely wife exit the kitchen.

"We seriously gotta get out of here," I mumble.

"Nah dip, Shirley Temple! Now help me get this snake out of here," commands Dani. I walk away from the sink and cross my arms once again, clinging to my sides.

"No way in hell am I touching that snake," I protest. Yeah, nope.

"It's not posionous, I swear! I did my research," retorts Dani. He sucks in his breath through his teeth and says, "If you're not going do it then I guess I will."

He dips his hand into the sink and the snake rapidly wraps around his pale arm. "Well, I guess I didn't really need your help after all."

Dani walks towards the exit but I stop him in his tracks. "You can't just walk out there with a snake on your arm," I explain to him, "they'll scream--especially Mrs. Handel; she despises snakes."

Dani uses his other hand to bonk his head. "Ugh you're so smart."

"So what's the plan?" I ask.

"Just cover me."

He bolts out the door and I follow right behind him.

"How am I supposed to cover you if I can't even catch up with you!?" I whisper-yell. Sometimes I feel like he just does and doesn't think. At all.

He keeps on moving and I have an eye-out for any potential screamers. We safely exit the mansion looking suspicious as Jason Bourne. We walk to the back of the house and release the snake into the nearby forest. Dani waves it goodbye.

He sniffles. It's a bit odd though; I never thought Dani would cry over a snake.

I pat him on the shoulder and we make our way back inside.

"Wanna go somewhere else, like say," I pause, "Waffle House?"

"Is that even a question?" He smiles ear from ear and skips along the entrance of the door.