now i just watch you on my screen.
you've seen it all, just like you wanted to.
i'm hurting that you haven't tried to contact me.
but all the same, i'm overjoyed that you love your life now.
i was holding you back from what you wanted to be. i can understand why you never saw me again. you wanted to hide your past.
i see that you've been protecting my identity from your 'fanbase.' you delete pictures that you had of me on your old social medias, and when people ask why you deleted them, you won't tell them anything about me.
it means something to me.
it means you haven't forgotten me, no matter how painful.
i want you to know that if you ever came back and told me you loved me, i wouldn't say no.
i regret saying no to you that august many years ago when you asked me to move to london with you.
but i know you won't come back.
i shouldn't hold onto the past, you aren't.
but i can't stop constantly thinking about what could have happened if i'd gone, or you'd stayed.
maybe i should try contacting you.
but i don't want it to end up in a lunch where all we talk about is how we've been doing.
because i'm not doing just fine.
YOU ARE READING
sadness // djh
Romance(lowercase intended) they say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now.
