internal love

prologe ellie's past

ellie had some issues with her home life back in Jr high, her mothers husband was abusive towards her and her two siblings. luckily the abuse stopped when she came to school with a bruise on her check and her friends told her to go to the counselor. after that her family was force to move out of their house immediately that night. unfortunately ellie had to face awful bullies at school, from that her friends ditch her because they feel like ellie was embarrassing them and ellie was not telling them whats going on in her home life. poor ellie was bound by the law not to say anything about whats going on in court they call this a gag order. ellie became desperate for friends so she does not feel lonely anymore.then she finds Ethan, Ethan was listed as the hottest boy in the 8th grade class. the problem is ethan had some friends that were not very nice at all towards ellie, they saw ellie as a very obsessive, crazy and weird girl. Ethan's friends decided to make her life worse by throwing things at her, slamming ellie's locker door on her neck leaving a big bruise on her neck and the other girls made fun of her because of the bruise looking like a hicky.  ellie couldn't get away from the abuse from the kids at school let alone the medication she was on made her into a monster. the drug she was on turn her against her family resulting her to pull a knife on her grandmother while her grandmother was only trying to help her poor grandchild. one dark day ellie was on her way to lunch when one of the bullies told her to kill herself and called her a slut. ellie packed a stake knife in her backpack the day before and she was planning on using it against the bullies, but the bullies push her depression to a whole another level. ellie went in the 8th grade girls bathroom and waited for the sound of students going to lunch stopped and she took the stake knife out of her backpack. then starts to stab her head repeatedly, cuts her left rist and tries to cut her neck open. blood was gushing out of the center close to the hair line of her forehead, she takes two of her right fingers rubs them on the blood and writes ethan on the wall in her own blood, she hides the stake knife in her backpack then she feels dizzy  from the lost of blood she collaspes to the floor and passes out. when ellie passed out she sees a white light, she cant feel the pain from her forehead anymore and she takes a closer look whats in front of her and she sees a male figure in front of a gold gate. while laying there in the white clouds ellie hears a voice telling her "its not time yet" the voice echoed until she falls back into darkness to find herself back into the girls bathroom with parimedics and teachers crying in front of her. the parimedics pick her up and put on a gernoy (ambulance bed thing) and rolled her out of the bathroom she looks over at one teacher and gets a chill down her back, it was her history teacher oh that lady was a nasty teacher she gave ellie a nasty look while ellie was rolled out of the hospital. after that tragic day ellie had to stay in a hospital in the UP (upper michigan) for 3 weeks because she was on sucide watch. while poor ethan had to take the blame from the kids at school. the whole school believed that ethan and ellie's friends were the reason why she tried to take her own life. they were wrong....all them were wrong, they dont know the real reason why she did it. ellie did it because of those bullies and she had to go to criminal court the next day. it was the man that hurt her mother and her siblings that caused the heart ache in the beginning. " i wanted to forgive him" ellie said while she was surronded by the padding on the walls sitting there alone in the dark. waiting for the day where she will be relased from the hospital. " ive sat there alone...... in the dark..... with my insanity there for company..........how could you do this to me.... to mom.....to my siblings......to ethan.......how can i forgive you for what ive become...... right.....ellie" ellie whispered to herself in the padded room. ellie was eventually relased for good behavior, but her demons never left... they remained in the darkest parts of her mind. " those bullies....they never apologize to me.....they.....were also the main reason why i did that in JR high......i wont be able to forgive them.....they must realize what they did to me.....to ethan.....was not human at all....." one year later two of ellie's friends apologize for abandoning her in 8th grade, ellie did explained to them what was going on at that time and her friends understood about her mistake and for the reason why ellie could not tell them whats going on. another year passed  ellie's mom started a realtionship with ellie's friend's dad, ellie had some trouble adjusting to the newness and poor ellie lost some of her cats and ellie had issues trying to find the right doctor and the right medications. ellie was diagnosed with ADHD so she had to go see a doctor in traverese city (in MI). after two years of recovering from the trama ellie and her family found out that the high school ellie was attending at was not right for her so she had to go to a smaller school called ACES, luckily for ellie one of her friends from 6th grade and JR high was going to school there. Ame (one of ellies friends from 6th grade and JR high also was one of ellies friends that ditch her) was there and appaerently she has already made friends there at ACES, but its ok because ellie made a couple of friends at the high school, sharon and emily. Ame's friends were all guys, john, glenn, and logan. ellie became friends with them quickly until her first year at aces ended. john graduated, logan dropped out of school and glenn became the annoying friend (sadly) and did not graduate on time. ellie is a senior this year and she plans on graduating then goes to collage for a nursing degree, but her senior year did not have a good start.