Designed For War...But Not Meant For It (Itachi Uchiha Story) Info.

Chapter 14.

Seeing him gave Kiken a much bigger jolt than anything else.

He had been part of the war; true, he hadn’t been there on the last day, when everything happened, but he was a reminder of it. The gates had reminded Kiken of leaving Hoshi valley; the mansion a reminder of having lived in the village. But he was a reminder of the war, and that affected her more than anything else had done. As such, for the moment, she wasn’t sure what to do, and stayed silent to begin with, staring back at him. He took it as a sign to speak first, and breathed, the smile still evident,

“It seems so strange to see you again, Kiken-sama. How have you been?”

“I’m fine. Just getting on with my life away from here.” She rapidly shot back, gritting her teeth in order to force herself to keep eye contact.

Though at first he was a little surprised at her quick and blunt answer to his question, he abruptly realised their difference in situation. Yes, he had participated in the war, but he had had the luck to have been pulled out—even if it had been through injury. That meant he hadn’t seen the last couple of days of the war; he hadn’t seen what had happened when it had all ended. Not to mention he had been much older than she had been. Overall he couldn’t be too shocked at her answer—not when he knew what she had been through. She had every right to be like that, and as such he responded quietly,

“Of course. I don’t think anyone expected you to stay here after everything that happened.”

Managing a small smirk, Kiken nodded in acceptance of his words, and then turned to Pein to try and get a response—hopefully one that meant they would leave his house now. She had nothing against him, but it had taken a lot to even get her to come to the valley in the first place; she didn’t want anything else to affect her journey to the battlefield. She wasn’t angry at him; anything but. When she had heard that someone other than her was alive; that someone had fought in the war and had survived, she had almost felt like crying. Ultimately, she had been too busy trying to leave Hoshi valley in order to do so, but she couldn’t help but be relieved. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t been there on the day the war ended…just that he was still living was good enough for her.

But there was so much of it that was to do with her, and if there was any chance of him finding out, she wasn’t about to hang around and let it happen. It was bad enough hanging around Itachi; getting close to him to the point where she cared about his opinion. Now she was afraid about him finding out the truth. She had been afraid even before she had met him; but now it had only been heightened, and she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do now in this position.

Then as Pein nodded in goodbye to the villager, Kiken knew she could do nothing but keep going—just like always. If she could get to the battlefield; deal with it all there and help them find the scroll…then the mission would be over and done with, and she could leave. She could get as far away from the valley as possible, never darkening the gates of the valley or village again or reminding that guy of the war. The village had tried to erase it from its history, and all she was doing was ruining it. As if she hadn’t done enough already; coming back was only going to make things worse.

Itachi instantly noticed her reaction; the way she had spoken, and narrowed his eyes as he contemplated what to do. He didn’t want to bring up the subject while everyone else was around, but at the same time, he didn’t want to just leave it be. Seeing him had really gotten to Kiken, and he wanted to make her feel better. At least with the Akatsuki there wasn’t much they knew about the war, and as she had already stated she didn’t want questions, the topic was brushed aside. But with that guy…it meant he could talk about it; and talk about it with information that not many knew.

As if building up the willpower to walk through those gates hadn’t been hard to begin with…

Instead Itachi merely walked closer to Kiken and stood right next to her, his shoulder brushing against hers. Glancing over and up into his eyes, Kiken nodded in thanks, but said nothing in return. His shoulder supported her, and helped her take the lead to show everyone where the battlefield was. That didn’t mean she didn’t have to take a deep breath to help push away the flashbacks of numerous injuries that had taken place during the fights. She had seen the scars on his body when standing there talking to him, and needed to focus on something else.  

But strangely enough, that focus turned onto Itachi. He was literally supporting her now, but he was managing to do so in other ways. It didn’t take much for him to give her a little more self-confidence, and he always tried to help if he knew something was wrong; and he could always tell. He had known how difficult it was going to be for Kiken to come back to Hoshi valley—he had proven that when he talked to her before. Itachi had been willing to disobey Pein to help her get away from them all; to send her off into the shadows and say he had seen nothing, letting her disappear. It had been that concern that had made Kiken stop and realise she wanted to stay.

Because he gave her hope. All her life the war had tainted her memories and everything she did, whether in how she treated people, what missions she accepted or the way she fought ninjas she approached.  The very idea of going back to Hoshi valley had filled her with dread. But with Itachi there; with him talking to her and offering his help, he gave her strength, and the idea that she might be able to return, that she might be able to accept all that had happened and allow herself to let it all go...she couldn’t dispel that from her mind.

He was so strong in himself, and he passed it on to Kiken, slowly aiding her in the journey. He didn’t have to; whether through personality or the fact he was powerful enough to force her to do so to begin with; and yet he still came to her side. The connection she had felt between them had been one thing, but now, as she felt his calm, strong presence next to her, Kiken felt something else entirely. Something she didn’t understand, and to start with, almost frightened her.

It wasn’t until she glanced over at Itachi that she realised it wasn’t anything bad. She hadn’t felt this carefree towards someone for...for as long as she could remember. Friends hadn’t been allowed in her life when she had been young, adults not wanting to get to know her because of their wariness at her power. Kiken had learned not to get close to people everywhere she had turned; it made her weak if she let her guard down; people would insult her and call her names if she tried to get to know anyone. That meant she had to stay at a distance at all times. She wasn’t about to be horrible or disrespectful to them; but there always had to be a degree of isolation.

But now Kiken wanted it to change.

An abrupt wave swept over her, and she felt different. Any worries about being back in Hoshi valley; Itachi's eyes; his face, all she could focus on. She didn’t know why she was doing it, or even what she was doing in the first place, but when it came down to it, she didn’t care. Regardless of whether she was acting like a silly fangirl and acting ridiculous, it didn’t matter. Itachi gave her the feeling of being able to do anything; to dodge round her doubts and faults and to keep going; to conquer the fears that had ruled her very existence since her life had begun. He was always so strong; so handsome and mysterious. There wasn’t anything he couldn’t do.

So what did Kiken have to worry about?