Dear karena,
For the thousandth time, I wonder what you were thinking. I just want to understand. I thought you had a pretty solid life. I guess I was wrong. I'm always wrong, aren't I? Yeah.
Maybe I should text you.
Who has your phone? I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
I wish my parents didn't hate me, I wish I was better at everything, I wish you were back, I wish I was capable of emotion for fucks sake. I didn't even cry at your funeral what kind of shithead does that make me? I just wish I could fucking feel something besides anger and numbness.
Somewhere in my life I stopped feeling sad. But I'd rather feel sad than to feel nothing at all.
Love,
Lee
