Gone... [brustoff]

Chapter 15 - Run Free

It's been 2 days since the last time I saw his face. I miss kisses we shared, I miss his pure smile, I miss his soft hands I used to hold. I miss him. I fucking miss Ben.

"God dammit." This was the fifth time I've tried to call him today. Although he never answered.

"... please leave a message after the beep." Why doesn't he pick up the phone? Doesn't matter. He'll never give me a second chance.

"um hi B-Ben..." It hurts to say his name. It feels like I've got stabbed 100 times. I wasn't really sure what I was gonna say. After few seconds of awkward silence, I finally found the words.

"I know you don't want to see me... nor hear me, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry and I hope it's not to late. Ben, I love you so much, please come back to me, I can't even stand a second without thinking about you. That kiss... with James... meant nothing. Just..." I felt my breaths slip out of my mouth. My eyes slowly began to water, as a tear ran down my face. "Please forgive me, love." With ending the voice message I broke down on the floor, hugging my knees.

I fucked it up, didn't I? I've lost him, he will never forgive me. I can't even forgive myself for what I've done. Although it wasn't completely my fault because I, myself, didn't kiss James. However if I wouldn't come, none of this would happen.

I have no one left anymore. Ben hates me, James' an asshole who ruined everything... Oh wait... Kellin.

I picked up my phone to message my friend.

Me: oi kellin want to hang out a bit pls? My house rn?

Kells: yea sure bro

I sighed at my phone, placing it down before collapsing back on the bed.
I'm such an asshole, now I'm finally aware why I never had friends. For being a useless faggot and a big disgrace.

I heard the door bell ring. This can't be Kellin, can it?

"Denis, your friend is here!" My mum yelled from downstairs. I wasted no time as I jogged to open the door.

"Oh h-hi Kells." I mumbled as I saw him standing. How did he got here so quick though? I guess people surprise us everyday.

"Your eyes are red and you look like you got hit by a train. I hope you have a good explanation." Kellin stated.

I simple just stared at him with blank expression on my face as he passed by. I closed the door and follow him upstairs. Kellin hopped on my bed and tapped on the place besides him, wanting me to sit down. As I sat he opened his mouth to speak.

"Now tell me what happened." He ordered.
"Well you see... James invited me to a bar yesterday, saying he wanted to speak to me. I didn't want to but I came anyway. Unexpectedly he kissed me but I tried to pull back but something was telling me I shouldn't. Little did I know, Ben was there and saw us kissing. He thought I was cheating on him, I wanted to explain him though but he didn't listen. Nevertheless he ran away without wanting to hear my apology." Without hesitation I pulled Kellin into a tight embrace, crying against his shoulder. He hugged me back, trying to calm me down.
After few moments of staying in this position, my tears stopped.

"It's okay Denis. Don't worry. Give Ben a little break and when he won't be so upset, try and talk to him." Kellin smiled softly. I simply nodded, not sure if I'll be able to face him again.

"I will always be here for you if you need someone to talk to, alright Denny?" Without my response he pulled me into another hug.