Heather's One-Chapter Bits

I Failed

May I comment on how ridiculously uncomfortable spandex is?

Seriously, I understand it defines a superhero or a super villain, but really, can't there be a more practical medium? I would fight in sweatpants. I would totally fight in sweatpants.

I pull on the black mask that covers my eyes. That's another thing I don't understand. Why just cover your eyes? Someone close enough to you is bound to notice it's their friend behind the spandex and tiny mask.

"Why is a costume necessary, professor?" I ask as Professor Holmes rifles through a bin for a mask that'll fit me better.

"Helps to make a name for you," he grunts, pulling out an even smaller black mask. "Here. Let's see how you look."

I look ridiculous. I'm decked out head to toe in a tight black unitard, the tiny mask the professor gave me pinches, and the knee high boots with two inch heels he insisted on are impractical.

"Won't it be difficult to run in these?"

"No, you'll be fine," he says. "Do you know what to do?"

I sigh. "Nope. You never told me."

Professor Holmes shakes his head and explains, "All you have to do is rob the bank. They'll send one of their new recruits after you, because you're new, and I want you to document them. Then you'll follow that hero around and make as much trouble as possible."

"Why is this?" I ask.

"Why, to keep one more young hero off our tails, of course," he says.

"The biology department?" I ask.

The professor gave me a look. "Of course the biology department, Jackie. You know we're all members of the Criminal Committee branch in this town."

"I am aware, unfortunately," I mumble.

"Fine then," he says, turning away. "Good luck."

I tap my foot against the ground. "Do I get a weapon, at least?"

He rolls his eyes. "Must I remind you this is your job, not a favor from me?" he says. "Grab something from the wall on the way out."

I shake my head and stride out, choosing a pair of brass knuckles on the way out. I have no idea how to use a sword or a mace, but I know how to punch. Of course, the only reason I can do that is because my parents insisted on rape defense classes before I went to college.

I climb into my broken down Buick and start driving to the bank. Then I realize I haven't had dinner. The professor won't mind if I stop for McDonald's, will he? Naw.

I stop at the drive-through and order a Big Mac and large fries. The cashier doesn't give my strange outfitting a second glance.

"I hope I still fit in this stupidly tight suit after this," I mutter, one hand on the wheel and the other stuffing French fries into my mouth.

I park a half mile away from the bank and walk, popping fries into my mouth. I walk around to the back door and pull out the lock picking tools Professor Holmes taught me to use earlier today. After a few minutes, I've opened the door. I stride in and crunch down on another fry.

"This is so easy," I say, picking up a bag of foreign money conveniently left on the counter. I lean against the counter and finish my meal.

The front doors burst open. A figure in blue runs in and stops in the middle of the open floor.

I grab the last few fries and walk around the counter. "I was wondering when you were going to get here," I tell him. "Can we make this quick? I have an exam tomorrow and I wanted to be home by twelve."

He narrows his eyes under his mask. "Are you eating... French fries?"

I nod. "Want one?" I offer the last one to him.

"Yes?" he says.

I pop it in my mouth. "Too bad. I was hungry."

He shakes his head. "Are you even stealing something, or are you just here to harass me?" he asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

My eyes widen. "No, no, no, I have money, see?" I exclaim, holding up my bag. I drop it and hesitantly put my fists in front of my face.

He rolls his eyes and runs at me.

I'd like to say our battle was epic and complicated. In reality, it was short and quite disappointing. I threw a few punches, one of which hit his chest, and he threw a few back, one of which hit my arm. In the end, we both just sat down to catch our breath.

"Well, this is a let down," he puffed. He leaned his back against mine.

"It's not an altogether loss," I say. "You can say you battled a villain. There's bragging rights there."

"That's true."

"So why did you get into this saving the world thing, anyway?" I ask.

"It's a family thing," he says. "My parents thought I should join the family business already."

I nod. I can understand that. "What do you want to do?"

He grins. "I kind of want to go into business. Like, management and stuff."

"Good for you! Go for it!"

He turns his head so he can just see me. "Why are you doing this? I mean, most villains have a motive, right?"

"Yeah," I laugh. "I failed."

"Who? Your family? Your friends?" he asks, confused.

"Developmental Biology, actually."

"A... class?" he says. 

"That would be correct. This is extra credit. I really needed it," I answer. He gets up and I almost fall back. I was leaning on him for support. He reaches a hand down to help me up. His hair was slicked back, I suppose so it doesn't get in his way during a fight, but it falls in his face now. He's actually pretty cute.

"So there is good in you!" he exclaims.

I smile. "Cute notion, but I think at this point, all that's in me is Instant Ramen, Red Bull, and useless facts."

He laughs. "Close enough."

I brush off the spandex. "So, I'll tell my professor you got away, you tell your parents you beat me, and I'll see you around?"

He winks. "Definitely."

I gather up my McDonald's scraps and head towards the door I unlocked. Then I stop. "What should I call you? I mean, what's your hero name or whatever it's called?"

He thinks for a minute, then says, "It's Crosswind, but you can call me Brian."

I grin. "Nice to meet you, Brian. I'm Jackie."

"You don't have a villain name?" he asks mockingly.

I shrug. "I'm sure I do by now, not that anyone's bothered to tell me."

He laughs. "Good luck on your exam, Jackie."

"I'll need it!" I call as I push open the door. I carefully lock it behind me and sigh. Now I have to walk all the way back to my car...