Truth is I'm a mess. Nobody gets it they all seem to run away. I lost everyone. I lost all my friends and my Family.but that's why I'm depressed.i just want to die no body actually honestly knows I want to die other than my guy bestie. But he sometimes thinks I'm joking but I'm absolutely serious about it.
I try to ignore it but it's hard I have scars all over my arm because I cut trying to make myself feel better.but then people see it and say it's gross and they leave.idk what to do then.so I keep it hidden like the pain I feel. Hidden behind lies.Behind fake smiles that no one cares to see threw.no body fucking gets it nor do they truly fucking care.im going to be stuck in a loony bin. I'm going to be high on medication shit I don't want to take it won't ever help.im useless and worthless and just a waste of space.
He's mad at me yet again...Maybe I should just leave his life so he won't be mad all the time.All I do is fuck up anyways.I'm a fuck up which is why I'm unloved it's why everyone leaves me and why I'm bullied.Im just going todisappear from everyone's life then they will be happy and wont have to deal with me.im sorry Matthew I really am.i guess this is good night......