sad

tù

If u think that was it. no ,that's just the beginning.

After that sad,sad depressing night you gonna think that tomorrow will be better,it'll be okay, i can do this

NOPE

u're absolutely WRONG!

it just get even worst, why?
bcs,u gonna think about again and then think more and more and suddenly make u cry again and this time it get more deeper.

thinking it'll be better now that's what ur mind said. BUT something bad will just come to you,no matter what And the fcking shitty thing just make it even worst!

things that make u even sad and depressed and it turns to a disappointment. All your emotions were confused,even worst ,all of ur feelings just mix and messed up.

all the conversations just flew trough your head all together and makes u can't handle it, in that point u lost control.

U're to stress and messed so u ran to the bathroom and shut yourself in. Locked the door,no lights,and just silence .

You lean forward to the sink and just let all the tears falling so continuesly. Didnt give a fck for life anymore ,u just wanted to cry and cry and cry.

Your tears slowly draining,your face was red,your nose stuffed,ur both eyes are swollen,ur cheeks wet and so are your hands .

when it all your emotions just  pop. U get a really bad Headache. ur body just tired and then u lie down on the cold floor.

The tears keep coming slowly,but then u remember the BAD things even more and you start crying real bad again. This time u tryna slap yourself bcs u can't feel anything anymore.

U slowly recover a bit,and then sit in the corner of the bathroom with ur legs touched ur chest and wrap it with ur arms . There's nothing i can see except  a big,really dark background .

That black background is not just a background it's your emotions all mixed together into a dark,dark,dark black thing u see.

u can't see a shape or colours ,anything.
it just

BLANK

that's the point u can't feel anything,u can't even think, u just lay down in the floor again, with a black space in ur mind ,but your head can still hear the conversations in ur head.

the only thing u can feel is just a BAD headache,exhausted body,a blank mind, lifeless eyes, losing ur mind and a body that has just lose it soul just a big I DON'T KNOW!

all you can think of is,u just wanted to NOT EXIST IN THIS WORLD,U WANTED TO DISSAPEAR!,AWAY FROM EVERYBODY , bcs u feel everybody is agains u and u scared that they will hurt u even more .

There's no shoulder for u to cry on. Only ur pillow to soak up all your tears. Just cry and cry and cry.

Even if u explain it to someone,they will never understand how it feel,and its too hard to explain how u feel when u don't understand it yourself .

Smiling has been always easier than explaining why you're sad.