Dream • Shawn Mendes imagines

please don't go

Shawn's POV

@shawnmendes: I completely messed up, now she's gone and it's all my fault

After I tweeted my notifications started blowing up asking what happened between me and y/n. I tried to focus on anything else that wasn't about what had happened, but I couldn't help it and I ended up crying for hours. I need to talk to my fans about this, they deserve to know what happened.

@shawnmendes: I'm starting a live stream, come join so I can explain some things

I started the broadcast with red puffy cheeks and hundreds of people instantly joining. Ninety percent of the comments were asking about what happened, and the image kept popping into my head. I slowly started to talk making sure I didn't start to bawl my eyes out again.

"So as most of you know I was dating this amazing girl named y/n. We spent every moment that we could together whether it was on FaceTime or in person. She supported me throughout everything, and when I was feeling down there was never a time when she didn't cheer me up. Every single day I fell in love with her more than I was the day before. I've always had this image in my head that she would be my wife, the mother of my children, and hell I've even imagined being being together in the afterlife." I took a deep breath trying not to let tears fall.

"But I messed everything up because I was so stressed and I shut her out. I didn't realize how much I pushed her away until we had to end things. I was so stupid that I had even cheated on her. I'm so madly in love with her and it's ruined. Maybe one day she would feel the same again. I don't blame her if she doesn't, I was an idiot. I wouldn't even look at me if I passed myself in the street."

I realized many tears were streaming by my face. But I didn't care because I was so stupid for letting her go. I continued to tell my fans all of the cute moments that we had until I got tired.

**

It was around nine in the morning that I got a notification that y/n Tweeted that she was going to go live. I clicked the link and there she was, she still looked beautiful with puffy cheeks. I was brought back to reality when she started to talk.

"As many of you know, Shawn and I broke up." A tear slowly started to fall down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. All I wanted to do was comb my fingers through her hair and tell her everything was going to be okay. But nothing I wanted to do beat how much I just wanted to call her mine again.

"It's been tough, and it's still going to take a lot of time, but I think it'll get better. He was my first love, you can't just forget that and let it go. I remember when we first started to date, and ever since we were teenagers, we were inseparable." She let out a small laugh as her eyes continued to well up.

"He was such a gentleman, and a cheesy boyfriend. Whenever I was sad he'd just cuddle and let me cry because I didn't feel like talking. And when I was done he didn't ask me what was wrong. And he was right not to, because after that, nothing was wrong. Nothing was wrong because he was there, nothing was wrong because I knew he was there for me. Nothing was because I knew I loved him." Her smile slowly disappeared.

"But he slowly became more and more stressed and depressed and I didn't notice and that made me a horrible girlfriend because he knew every time something was up with me. Since I didn't notice I couldn't help him, so it's my fault that he cheated. So please stop saying it's Shawn's fault for the way that things ended. If you're going to blame anybody for this blame me, but please don't put any of the blame on Shawn." At this point she was crying, and so was I because I knew she was crying over me. She slowly started to talk again.

"It breaks my heart when at one moment you support us both, then as soon as this happens you turn and start to hate on whoever you think created it or who you liked more or who according to some of you, you never liked anyway. But for those of you who still continue to support us both separately and together just know I love you and we can get through this together." That was all I could watch, I had to fix this.

**

I slowly walked into her house after her mom let me in. She was still talking so I assumed she was still live. I couldn't care less. I quietly walked in and got on one knee. Her phone started to go off like crazy. She quickly turned around. "Shawn?" She asked with surprise and sadness mixed in her voice.

"Don't worry I'm not proposing yet, but the day I do I hope you'll say yes. Uh, this is a promise ring. When I lost you I realized how much you mean to me. It's not just that I lost you as the person I am madly in love with, I lost you as my best friend as well. If you accept this, hell even if you don't, each time you look at it just remember that I love you and I appreciate everything you do for me." I slowly closed my eyes and continued to talk.

"I love how you look down when you laugh, I love when you bite your lip when you're frustrated, even when you laugh at my lame jokes. But most of all I love how no matter how stupid I am, you stick by my side. I appreciate how you make me muffins when I don't expect it, I appreciate when you make me happy when I'm sad. But I'm thankful that you're you because if you weren't I wouldn't be happy, I wouldn't be living my dream writing songs and performing, and most of all I wouldn't have the best life I ever could imagine. So y/n y/l/n will you accept this and please give me another chance?"

I closed my eyes and waited for a response. I was about to open them until I felt a pair of lips on mine. We were both crying but I've never felt better in my life. In that moment there was nothing except the two of us finally together again.