You Can't Survive Alone

Part 9

What just happened?
I wake up still on the floor where I was before. I'm alone, the bite marks on my arm still there.
What?
I didn't die...
Am I immune?
It seems the only logical explanation. The virus would spread quickly in a normal person, and within 10 minutes they would be dead or a zombie.
There's a crushing pain in my head, almost as if my skull is trying to split itself in two.
Maybe I'm not immune, and it just works a lot slower on me.
My arm is still bleeding, so I grab some bandages from my bag and wrap them around my arm. I try to stand, but fall back down almost immediately because of the pain in my head.
What will I do? I can't move, or leave. The others think me dead or a zombie. They won't come looking for me.
I slowly stand up again, and lean against the wall for support. Okay, okay, I can do this. I take my weight off of the wall, and I am standing on two feet. Every step is agony, but I have to. I need to keep walking, I need to get back.
Slowly, ever so slowly, I make my way back to the White House. I collapse about fifty feet down the road from it.
Even the disease that created the zombie apocalypse can't stop me.
I crawl up the steps to the entrance, and slowly open the door. I slowly stand up, and make my way through the entrance hall. I walk slowly up the second flight of stairs, and stop there.
Everyone knows that I'm dead or a zombie... What if they just shoot me? I have to make it clear to them that I'm not a zombie. The best way I can do that?
"HEY GUYS, I'M NOT A ZOMBIE. DON'T SHOOT ME," I yell at the top of my lungs, then collapse. The effort of talking is too much, and as the people converge around me, I sink into blackness.

Alive
When I wake up, I am alone. I'm in a bedroom, and there is an IV in my arm.
Instantly I feel the need to take it out. Panic falls over me, and I yank it out and scramble to my feet.
The door opens and there is a boy standing there. He has curly, dark hair and brown eyes. I feel like I know him from somewhere.
"Ash! You're finally awake! What happened?"
"Wh-who are you? Where am I?"
"Ash? Don't you remember me? I'm Nick. You're in the White House. You're safe."
I relax some, and start to remember. I know Nick, how could I forget? I shake my head to clear it, and sit back down on the bed. "What happened? What-"
"You were bit by a zombie. You must be immune, but from what just happened, I'd say you still have some of the effects from the disease."
He has something in his hand-a thermos. He hands it to me, along with a spoon. "Here, have some soup. You haven't eaten anything in the past while."
I take the soup and eat some of it slowly. "How long was I out?"
"You were unconscious for two days."
Why am I always unconscious? And why does everyone keep saving me? Why do I have to go through this hell, every day? Why can't life just be normal?
These questions swim around in my head, unanswered. I eat some more soup.
"Where is everyone else? Can I see Zack?"
"The others are eating dinner; do you want to come eat with us?"
"Sure."
"Wait, what happened to your arm? Why are you bleeding?"
"I-I don't know."
"You must have taken your IV out when you woke up. Here, put a bandage on it." He reaches toward the table beside him and grabs an ace bandage. He tosses it toward me, and I wrap it around my arm. "Let's go eat dinner."
If everyone is eating dinner together, why did Nick come in here with soup? He can't have known I was going to wake up... So that means that he had been planning to eat his dinner in here, with me. The thought is slightly comforting, to know that I wasn't truly alone even when I was fighting the disease.
We walk into the kitchen, and that's when I realize that my head doesn't hurt. Strange, I could've sworn that it did when I woke up.
Everyone looks up when the door opens, and Zack walks over and hugs me. I hug him back, because I hadn't realized how much I had missed him when I thought I was going to die.
Everyone else came over and was talking, but I just stood next to Zack and ate my soup. Finally people started sitting down again, and I didn't say a word, just sat down and ate.

After dinner
After dinner, we were all just chilling around the table, talking. I was pretty tired and decided to head to bed. Nick walked me to my room. He held the door like a gentleman would for a lady, and I almost started laughing. We were both grinning and half-laughing, and then he said, "goodnight." I said goodnight to him as well, and he closed the door behind me.
I was just laying in bed with the lights still on when I started getting this panicky feeling. I was worried that something was happening, and I felt like I was in danger. I stood up and paced around the room, but that just made my heart beat faster. I started thinking these really mean thoughts about all of the other members of the group. What is going on, I think. My hands were involuntarily clenching and unclenching themselves, and my heart was racing. There was an intense pressure in my brain, right behind my forehead. I couldn't think about anything; I was too panicked. All of a sudden, it stopped, and I passed out onto the bed.
I woke up a few seconds later and asked myself, "What just happened?" I try to puzzle out what might be happening to me. My only theory is that I'm not completely immune to the disease; it seems to be coming and going, messing with my emotions.
I remember having felt like this before, right before I passed out in that abandoned building with Nick. I also felt it when I woke up.
So at least I'm not a complete zombie, I think. I can probably control these bursts of panic and anger.
"I need to tell someone about this," I say out loud to myself. I decide that I should probably tell Jess; she should know what is going on.
I wait in my room until I hear voices leaving the kitchen. I hear Jess's door opening and closing. I silently open my door, creep across the hall, and knock on Jess's door. She pulls it open and motions for me to come inside.
"What's all the secrecy about? Why so quiet?"
"Something is happening. In my head. I'm getting panicky and angry, and then I'll pass out. It just happened; it happened right when I got bit, and then again after I woke up. I'm forgetting things when it's like that, and feel like I'm in some sort of danger."
She frowns and looks at me closely. "Can you describe what it feels like when you get like this? In more detail, I mean."
"I'll just all of a sudden get completely panicked. My head will start hurting; my heart beat gets really fast. I forget things, like where I am, who you guys are. Then I pass out and wake up normal."
She frowns again. "It must be some side effect from when you were bit. The virus is affecting you, just not as much as it does other people. I've been studying how the zombies move and act; they don't seem to know anything. They act both angry and frightened at the same time, almost. The fear gives them incredible speed; the anger gives them the need to attack."
"So... I'm halfway to being a zombie, but won't ever completely turn?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Why don't you just use the cure on me? Won't it just undo the virus?"
She blows her hair out of her face, thinking. "The cure... Doesn't work like that. You need to receive the cure before the virus has done any damage to the brain; it won't undo any damage."
"So it's not exactly a cure... More like a stopgap?"
"Pretty much, yeah. It will destroy the virus in your system, but the virus has already done all the damage it can to you. The effect the virus has on people varies; you'll have noticed that some people become zombies while others simply die. The people who die... The virus ate too much of their brain, and they can no longer function. The zombie is the product of when the virus does exactly what it is supposed to. All rational thought is gone; the no-longer-human only has two emotions: fear and anger. On you, the virus worked even less than normal, so you only get those two emotions sometimes. The other emotions still exist inside you."
"I think I understand. So the end result of the virus changes from person to person?"
"Yeah, basically. That's the short answer."
"Well, is there anything you can do to stop these attacks I'm having?"
She thinks for a moment. "Not really. It's just a battle in your brain; your brain simply has to work around the broken neurons. You should be fine. The attacks will decrease in number and frequency over time."
This is a whole lot to process, but I think I understand. "Okay, so I just have to live with it?"
"Don't we all have our things to live with? Your's is just a little more... Complex than anyone else's. Do you need me to spread the word about your whole thing, so that people don't ask you about it?"
Jess is so thoughtful. She knows how terrible I am with people, and she's already thought ahead about telling people about it. "If you would, please do that. Thank you so much, Jess."
"You're welcome, Ash. See you in the morning!"