Am I supposed to let go?

Prologue

Mi cellphone's vibration wakes me up unexpectedly. I open my eyes and, in the darkness, I look for it on my night stand. I grab it and look at the time, it's only 11:14 pm, I think I fell asleep while doing my homework. The text is from Nick, wishing me sweet dreams, I left him talking to himself again. Mi fingers fly fast across the keyboard while I tell him that I fell asleep and I wish him sweet dreams as well.

Don't worry beautiful, I know you were tired :) talk to you tomorrow, love you.

His texts always draw a smile on my face, but after a few seconds the happy feeling is replaced by guilt, when a second message pops on my phone's screen.

I'm going to bed now, guess you fell asleep. Good night princess, I love you.

That's Sebastian, my boyfriend.

Honestly, I never thought I'd put myself through this situation. I have never been one of those girls who enjoys playing with others' feelings, much less one of those who cheat on their boyfriend. Although I was not cheating on Sebastian, or at least that's what I kept telling myself. I had been dating Sebastian for two years, and he used to be my best friend before that. I thought of him as one of those guys who are stuck in the friendzone and will stay in there forever. However, his sweet childish innocence and the frankness with which he always spoke made me fall for him a little more every day, while he fell for me as well. 

 Nevertheless, these guys -Nick and Sebastian- couldn't be any more different. While Sebastian was the rain that suffocated a fire, Nick was the air that fed the flames. I had met Nick while studying abroad in France- country well known for its romanticism. He wasn't my type at all; he was the guy who had every girl dying for him, the one who is not used to taking "no" for an answer. When I met him, Sebastian and I had just celebrated our first anniversary, and even though we were deeply in love, the distance caused deep wounds in our relationship.

What happened was very simple: I was far away from my boyfriend, with whom I fought all the time, and on the other hand I hung out every day with this guy who made me forget the sadness and anger. Although my relationship with Nick was strictly a friendship, a weird feeling started developing over time, which I can't define yet as either love or plain sexual attraction. Though I knew something was growing between us, I was completely conscious about my relationship with Sebastian, and still I didn't do anything to stop this thing with Nick.

Anyways, I thought everything would end when we came back home to Mexico, but it didn't. Whatever Nick and I had did nothing but grow. We spent all day texting, and the conversation just flowed by itself. We kept jumping from one subject to the next one in an infinite reflection of different topics that we considered entertaining. Obviously, Sebastian noticed that something was going on with me, since I must admit that whenever I was with him my mind was somewhere else. As I mentioned before, Sebastian had a boy's personality, but as time went by, the childish qualities that I used to find so cute and attractive slowly became frustrating and boring. As he realized all of this, my boyfriend started making a bigger effort to "win me back", as he used to say.