Rivals and Jeers

Chapter 15

Dan wakes up to the sound of Phil's snoring. He has his body wrapped around Dan. Phil hugs Dan's chest tightly as he sleeps. Dan presses his back into Phil in an attempt to wake him up. Phil lets out another loud snore.

"Phil?" Dan whispers. Phil stirs and pulls Dan even tighter. It takes a minute for Phil to really wake up. He kisses Dan's neck and Dan softly smiles.

"I wish I could stay here with you all day, but we have to get up and go to school. It's like 7:00." Dan tries leave, but Phil pulls him back into the bed.

"5 more minutes" he begs and buries his face into Dan. Dan sighs and lets Phil have time to spoon. At 7:05, Phil lets Dan get up and start getting dressed. He props his head up with his elbow  and watches as Dan pulls on a clean shirt. Before he pulls it fully on, he freezes.

   "Phil?" He asks and turns to him. Phil sits up on the side of the bed. "What did you mean last night by 'still beating'" Phil instantly starts to panic. He didn't want Dan to know. It had been a spur of the moment thing to tell him that.

   "I-I..." he stuttered. Dan sat down next to him. He grabbed his hands. Phil calmed down a little bit.

   "Is there something you'd like to tell me?" Dan asked, rubbing his thumb over Phil's fingers to comfort him. Phil pulls away.

   "I didn't want to have to bother you with it." Phil said, slouching and not looking Dan in the eye. Dan put his hand on Phil's shoulder.

   "You can tell me anything. What is it?" Phil turns away.

   "It was the day before we met. My family... we'd been having some... disagreements. It wasn't the first time. I'd been having these... thoughts... for a long time. Bad thoughts, Dan. I assumed they came from my last school. The kids there weren't exactly the nicest to me. But then I realized they came from home as well. I thought there was no place I was free of those thoughts. And even though at Northglenn, I was free of those thoughts, other bad thoughts filled my mind at school. They were about how I was lying to everyone and being someone I'm not.

"So anyways, I'd been trying to keep them at bay when something in my mind went 'why not do it. Why not just kill yourself and get it over with.' I wanted to say no to it, but it was like someone screaming at me." Phil started to tear up.

   "The day I met you..." he said through tears. "that was my suicide date." Dan threw his arms around Phil.

   "I'm so sorry Phil. If I had known I-"

   "Don't say anything. Just please be here for me." He cried. Dan grabbed Phil's shoulders and forced him to look him in the eye.

   "I promise I'll always be here for you." He wiped a tear off of Phil's face. Phil took a deep breath to try to calm himself. Dan pulled him into a tight embrace.

   After his tears had dried, Phil got up and get dressed. He walked over to Dan standing near the doorway and grabs his face in his hands. He stares into his brown eyes, swirling with flecks of gold from the sunlight coming in through the window. Dan matches Phil's gaze, allowing himself to be lost at sea.

   Phil grabs the back of Dan's head and draws his face closer. Their foreheads touch. Phil's hand moves to Dan's back as he pulls his body close too.

   "I'm in love with you Dan." He whispers and presses his lips onto Dan's. Dan melts into him like wax from a candle.

   When he finally breaks away, Dan responds "I'm in love with you too."