Confidential | Zauren

Five

When I awoke in the morning, everything seemed normal. I took a shower in the busy bathroom, took my morning vitamin in the long line and made my way escorted to the cafeteria. I joined Corey at our usual table for a meal of french toast sticks, sausages, an orange and milk. It felt like a regular day, just a bit longer.

"My name is Robert. I'm feeling happy today. My mom is supposed to come and visit tomorrow. My goal for today is to not cry at all during any of my therapy sessions." Everyone clapped for Robert. I was sat beside Corey. Lauren wasn't in this group session. Corey raised a hand. "I'm Corey. I'm feeling relaxed today. I'm feeling optimistic. My goal is to remain that way." I saluted everyone as their eyes darted to me. "I'm Zayn. I'm feeling also relaxed today. My goal is to continue learning more about myself and others while here."

This session went on like this and goal management was discussed throughly before we made our way to the zen room for relaxing aroma therapy. We were sat in silence, in the dark, with the smell of pine cones filling the air. It made me think of when I went camping with my family when I was younger, and I was suddenly feeling nostalgic.

We then we went on to lunch, and then more sessions. We had individual sessions, and then check-ins with nurses just to make sure we were maintaining a healthy weight and that we weren't getting sick or anything.

Dinner is when things took a turn.

"Lima beans? I think I'm going to vomit.." Lauren rolled her eyes. She was sat at the table with Corey and I today. "Yeah, well, be grateful we didn't have to eat them yesterday," I laughed. Lauren pushed them around on her tray.

"Did you talk to Rosalina yet?" Corey asked. Lauren placed her fork down on her tray, and shook her head. "No, I haven't. I can go talk to her now. If we're being completely honest I actually forgot. Don't worry I got you now." She pushed her chair back and stood up.

Corey and I watched as Lauren made her way over to Rosalina's table. She was sat alone. Lauren sat beside her and Rosalina grinned from ear to ear. She had dirty blonde hair and her black roots were coming through. I hadn't ever noticed her before. Lauren was doing a lot of gesturing our way.

Jay walked toward Lauren with his tray of food. She gestured over to our table. He nodded and started making his way over. Something fell out of his back pocket. A nurse rushed over to pick it up noticing that he had his hands full. Her eyes widened.

"You took the badge!" I heard her gasp. She paged someone. "You have to come with me. You're in big trouble Mr. Jayson."

"You can't prove that I had that," he said. Everyone was watching now.

"It just fell out of your pocket and you will not write me off as a fool." Jay didn't say anything to her and he started to walk away.

"Where do you think you are going? You're coming with  me!" She grabbed his arm. He yanked it away and dropped his tray of food. "Don't touch me. I'm not going anywhere with you. The only place I'm going is to get another tray of food." She grabbed Jay's arm again and he pushed her off of him. She lost her balance and fell down. That's when all three security guards rushed over. They began man handling Jay as if he were dangerous. He was maybe five foot three inches.

"Let me go!" Jay shouted.

"I can't do that." Lauren was out of her seat now rushing toward the scene. I was out of my seat now too. Jay was flailing his arms and kicking his legs while shouting profanity.

"He didn't do anything wrong! Let him go!" Lauren shouted. One of the guards pushed her out of the way.

"They're trying to kill us all! Can't you see!" One of the guys I remember Corey telling me had paranoia shouted. Jay continued resisting and swinging his limbs in any which direction until the nurse he had pushed down grabbed his arm and injected him with something. He continued flailing for a few moments more before his whole body went calm.