The Weak and Careful

Dont Need To.

From me to you,
This is a mutual conversation.
Not a poem, nor a story.
Merely just a deposit of emotions.

More like a wrapped up present,
I wish I could've held you tight.
You see, too many things has gone,
Left and lost me in myself.

Loosing too many things at once,
It hurts my bones, you see.
I'm not as healthy as I used to be.
I shake more, I'm fragile.

I crack beneath surfaces,
Fall down between crevices.
My voice is quiet,
My feet are careful.

I dont think before I speak,
Sometimes I think too much before I speak, which is an issue, too.

I break so easily,
But It's so hard for me to heal others.
It seems like these days the glue wont stick, the staples wont mend.
How useless I am.

You dont have to love me,
I know that now.

I had a dream where I wanted to kiss
you so bad, hold you so close.
But like an eagle's call,
Your voice rang out loud and forceful.
"I dont need to love you."

All of those times I spent,
Flirting with you, complimenting you,
Catching every chance I could get to give you a fresh flower and smile at you.

It wasn't worth it.
I didn't need to do it.
You dont have to love me, I now realize that, rather bitterly.

I told you I missed you,
You told me that you needed to go.
Leaving to your tending of other hobbies I dont need to get in the middle of.

I remember in that dream I smiled.
I smiled when you said those words.

"I don't need to love you."

We were both standing in a stone platform, in a building surrounded by people minding themselves.

I smiled.

"I know." I said.

"I've just lost too many things too many times."