Seasons Falling

Eleven

Celine's P.O.V.

I could not suck more, could I?

I mean, let me make a list.

Why I suck:

*Roan told me he loves me and I didn't respond

*It's Thursday, and I haven't talked to him all week

*He always gives me this pleading 'I'm Sorry' look and I don't do anything about it! I could get up, hug him tighter than ever and tell him that I love him and I'm sorry, but something is holding me back! I literally want to scream every second of the day for being so idiodic! I know I could just fix it by telling him that I love him but I feel it is too late, he already thinks I don't like him in that way. He thinks he said it too soon. And maybe it was too soon, but I still feel the same. So why am I not doing anything about it? I don't know, you try compromising with my fucked up mind

Okay that last one was a bit long, but I am really pissed at myself, and I let out my anger by writing long, useless paragraphs about everything that is wrong.

Currently, I am sitting in Math class, fifth period, with Roan right in front of me. It's really strange what not talking to someone for a week can do to you. Well, maybe not for anyone else, but I am a complete train reck, all because I don't set boundried on how much my mind can think. So I end up pacing in my room until 2 a.m., contemplating all that has happened. But every time I overthink about that, my mind still leads me to one answer: It can be fixed. But I'm changing that now. It will be fixed. And I don't know how, or when, but I know I have to fix it. I can't let this happen.

And in a weird transition, I need to do something now.

I rip off a piece of paper carefully from my notes, so nobody will hear, and I scribble I'm so sorry. Please walk me to my locker so I can explain.

My heart becomes the only thing I can hear, beating rapidly inside my chest, as I tap him on the shoulder, and he turns sideways to look at me. His eyes are still the same dark color, but I see them light up when he sees my face. That little smirk he always has creeps up to his face, making me smile in return. I hand him the note, and he turns back around, scribbling away.

By now, I've barely listened to anything my teacher is saying, which is bad to do, but I could always ask someone for the notes, I can't ask someone to fix my problem with Roan.

No need to be sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up so soon anyways. I should be sorry. I almost groan in frustration. I knew he would blame himself.

Ro, stop. In any other relationship, that would be too soon. I always questioned why people said 'I love you' so late in the relationship. In my opinion, it was spot on. Don't blame yourself for that okay?

I debate writing the next words after it, but I absolutely hate myself for thinking I shouldn't. So I do.

I love you xx

I take a deep breath and hand it back to him. I can only see a small sliver of his face from the positon I'm in, but I see the smile that doesn't go away for weeks appear on his face. I smile to myself as I pack up all my books and take my time, waiting to see if Roan waits for me. Which he does.

I haven't had a good stare at him in so long, and being able to look at every inch of him comforts me so much.

"Thank you," he says, and his voice comes out all small and adorable, causing me to wrap my free arm around his waist so he doesn't see my blushing face.

"No, thank you" I whisper to him, as he presses me closer to him, making me, for once, never want to leave this room. But we have to, or we will be late. So I pull away, with a smile platererd on both of our faces, and we walk out of the room, side by side.

As we walk into the hallway, people pushing and shoving to get to their class, I keep my eyes trained on Roan, thankful that I did what I did. And he must notice that I'm staring at him, because he laughs to himself, and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Do I have something on my face?" he asks, with a laugh, looking over at me.

I shake my head and laugh along with him. "No. You're just really cute, what can I say."

His face turns a bright pink as he bumps me with his shoulder, mumbling, "Well you're really beautiful."

I shake my head with a wide grin and do something I definitely would not have done a week ago. I intertwine my fingers with his, and now, today, after Saturday, it is one of the most normal ways of affection I can give to him.

He looks over at me, his signature smirk on his lips, and I look away, because I know if I look at him for a long time, I might end up kissing him, which I want to save for a special moment. But I'm not sure how patient I am going to be for that perfect moment. I just have to make it a perfect moment. It won't happen on its own.

"So why did it take you so long to tell me that you..." he trailed off, face getting red again, so I answered before he could continue.

"Because I'm fucked up, that's why." I sigh, reaching my locker and opening it as calmly as I can. "It's killed me everyday I didn't talk to you this week, and I stayed up late at night questioning why I never told you. It's killed me-" my voice cracks as I speak, and I can't tell if I'm crying or not, all I know is Roan threw his books on the ground and is now hugging me. I drop my books on the ground as well and pull him closer. I can't explain how great it feels to have him so close to me again.

"It's okay, it's okay. Something told me this week that you still loved me too, even though you didn't say it. I felt it all through my bones. It's just great to know that I was right. And it's crazy that you stressed so much about this simple thing." Roan whispers into my ear.

"I only went crazy, because I'm crazy in love with you." I laugh, and I feel his lips curve into my neck.

"And I'm crazy in love with you."

Finally.

Finally something good came out of this.

Finally.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hello all you incredible peoples

yes peoples.

I decided to have a happy chapter (yayy)

I hope you love them as much as I love them :)

SORRY FOR ANY ERRORS

Thanks for reading

xxx