Old-born

reborn

I'm baaaaaaack...heh, not sure if you should be fearful or overjoyed. Wouldn't blame you either way...I told myself I wouldn't do it, Hell for awhile it actually started working, months of feeling Nothing, no love sure that may sound like it sucks but at the same time? No pain, no strings, no cares, no. Fucks. Given. Until I of course start staying in a place where all I gotta do is take care of two dogs, keep the apartment clean, and oh did I mention? Fuck my roommate so I don't get thrown out in the cold. I am 17 years old, my roommate is thirty now before you get all judgy and freaked out hear me out or...read whatever. My situation is a little complicated it always has been why should it change now, honestly its more thanks to the roommate that I feel nothing now with anyone, barely even sex but that's until I got one of those stupid dating apps that everyone knows that everyone just goes on to hook up with each other, blendr and at first it was everything I figured it would be but one day I'm on the app again and its just like any other day I'm scrolling through the people that viewed my page that liked it and what they looked like and see if they were near me, he didn't pop out at the time at all I mean sure he had this cute boy thing going on and I double checked his profile but I never thought of the possibility we would actually meet up you know? But after almost a week of us having added each other and not talking Will asked me what I was looking for and I told him the truth about how I felt at the time....I want fwb, friends with benifets he said okay wanna meet up, we agreed he pick me up to be honest I was nervous, not because I thought he would hurt me or anything, I'm just really awkward. Fast forward to him taking me to his "spot" its beautiful really when you ignore the road and few cars, especially at night. Right away I felt it, the clinching in my stomach and the heat in my cheeks it wasn't hardly as bad at first though and for a good while I was able to ignore it. But as you have probably already guessed it doesn't seem like it will be that way for much longer if it still is. Will will will...he has this man bun thing because he has his hair cut on the sides but let's it grow out in the middle then he just puts it up. He wears glasses, I've tried them on they're a pretty close prescription to mine. I always automatically get shy when I'm around him I can't help it like a reflex....that's all for now its 11 I just got back from our fourth hangout? Somewhere around there, anyways I'm beat.

So I'm a whore, sue me we all have are little quirks don't we?

as I'm stuck in this new place will is gone til i can leave again but i don't think will and i will even happen again, my life long friend, ex from Texas, skater-boy...is back and whether i move to Texas to be with him or get away or whatever it is I'm leaving Colorado i cant stand the cold is killing me it really is.