Eyes

Closer

day 125.
He's doing it again, Jacks shouting at nothing. In his empty room, I can't put anything in his room. He will try commit suicide with anything. I'm trying to make out what he is shouting in his panicky, Irish voice. It's mostly just "why won't you go away?' And 'get out of my head!'. Same stuff as always, maybe I should go check on him..

I walk upstairs and enter his room, only to see his shaking body sat in a corner, with tears rolling down his pale face. He's covering his eyes. 'Jack, it's just me..' I said trying to calm him down. He removes his shaky hands from his face and looks up at me. 'Why can't you see them!! What is wrong with me?' Jack shouted whilst sobbing. I hugged him, comforted him. Sooner, he calmed down and nervously left his room, with his back to the wall so they couldn't grab him. 'They' where the strange apparitions he saw, they terrified him because they seemed so real. Apparently they spoke to him, telling him if he was gone, none of this would be happening. That's why he tries to kill himself all the time, with whatever he could find. I'm not letting that happen though.

It's 6:43, I'm sat comfily with Jack on our couch. Watching his favourite show, animal planet. To be honest, I find it boring. But Jack likes it, he likes the peaceful environments ,that aren't filled with demons, and all of life's wonders. He always just stares at the screen, taking in every detail of the animals and landscape. That he will never see, without apparitions getting in the way. Jack always stays close to me, I have to keep him close. Apparently, when I'm with him, he can't see the demons. So, he likes staying close. I don't know what he would do without me, I don't really like thinking about that. He would be so helpless, alone being told to just die. I can't imagine what it is like for him. I had to blindfold him one time. He almost had a panic attack and was pushing me to grab the knives in the kitchen. Apparently, he told me somebody was telling him nothing was going to get better. His life would always be like this. Jack also to,d me the demon attacked him, they aren't real. But, I found cuts on his legs, but he does cut himself sometimes. Maybe it was just that...

It's 10 at night now. I'm pretty tired, so, I'm going to bed. He sleeps in my room, his room is usually used for when doctors visit him. I have a king sized bed, so he sleeps on the other side. But tonight, he is extra close to me. His heart was pounding faster than normal and small whimpers escaped his mouth. I kissed him on the head, he buried his head into my chest. I don't know what's wrong with him, he seems to be getting worse everyday, and I'm worried about what will happen every morning. How long will he stay with the little bit of sanity left in him? These thing scare me, I try not to think about them. But it is my responsibility to manage these problems...

Btw this is first person as Felix,