Tell Me I'm Ugly

“Hey Jasmine,” Toby smiled. His eyes lit up in a fascinating way and I couldn’t help but stare into their depths. The corners of his upturned mouth trailed to a dimple placed perfectly on his cheek. His messy, yet stylish brown hair was in its usual glory, making my heart melt. But this time, I wasn’t dreaming. He was actually talking to me.

“Toby,” was all I could muster up. I instantly turned red, lowering my head and using my bangs to hide myself. If only I could actually run and hide at this moment. I cursed myself for being such a dork. I had replayed this scene a hundred times in my mind: when Toby Dawson would finally realize my existence. It was supposed to go smoothly. Starting with a casual exchange and ending with him asking me to the dance coming this weekend. I wasn’t supposed to freeze up.

“Yeah, that’s me,” he chuckled, filling my stomach with even more butterflies, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I nodded frantically, “I mean of course…d…do you want something? Do want to copy my notes for Chemistry?”

“No,” he chuckled again, “Just listen. I don’t really know you very well…”

Know me well? He didn’t know me at all. This was the first time he had even taken the time to talk to me. But at the time, I didn’t care. This was Toby Dawson, hottest guy in school, soccer team captain, and most sought after boy in high school.

“Look, I’ll just get to the point. Do you want to go to the dance with me this weekend?” Toby asked.

I gawked. I stopped breathing. My face turned even redder. The world stopped spinning. Because Toby Dawson had just asked me to the dance. My eyes were still wide as I quickly nodded my approval.

“Sure,” I blurted, “Of course. That’s sounds great!”

It was like a fairytale. A story my mom read out of a glittery book when I was little. I, the nerd, was getting asked out by Prince Charming. That didn’t happen…ever. I fixed my glasses and ran a hand through my semi-messy hair. I felt like my own happily ever after was just beginning.

And boy was I wrong.

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Pain wrenched through my chest as I stared at the ugly screen. This couldn’t be happening. Just when things were starting to seem hopeful and wonderful for once, they crash and burn. I gripped the mouse tighter, until my knuckles turned white.

I don’t know who you think you are. Cuz you’re nobody and remember that.

Just because Toby asked you to the dance doesn’t mean you’re all that. You’re just a big fat nerd. Get your glasses straight nerd. You’ll tell him the date’s off it you know what’s best for you.

F*ck you B*TCH!

I knew you were desperate, but blackmailing someone to go to the dance with you is too much. Leave Toby ALONE.

More awful messages were littering my Facebook wall. They just wouldn’t stop and I couldn’t find the courage to tell them to. I just sat there in front of my laptop, my knuckles white and my eyes red from holding back the tears. All of a sudden a picture was posted and my heart dropped even further.

It was photoshopped to make me look like I was unzipping a boy’s pants, about to give him a blowjob. How could they even have the energy to continue with this? I was not blackmailing Toby. I did nothing wrong. I stray tear fell down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away.