The Marriage Demands (#Wattys2017)

Chapter 33

ZAKRIYA ISLAM

My eyes felt the prick of light fall upon my lids. Frowning, I opened my eyes, only to wince when a surge of pain shot from my neck. Groaning, I rubbed it and sat a little upright. I realised that I had fallen asleep on the leather chair. Rotating my stiff neck and stretching my arms above my head, I glanced out the window. It was morning. Glancing at my wrist watch, I realised that I had fallen asleep in Amber'a office for over over twelve hours. There was a blanket draped on my chest. Removing it, I folded it and placed it on the desk.

It was 8 am now. I get guilty for missing my fajr prayers. I gazed around the office and found it empty.

Adrenaline shot through me and jumped to my feet. Where was she? Has she run away from me again?

I was frantic however, when I walked out of the office, I heard faint noises of children coming from somewhere. Following the sounds, I walked into a hall room where I saw many children seated in front of a long table and eating. It was almost as if it was a dining hall. I spotted Amber standing by a row of children who were busy eating.

My breath got hitched in my throat when I saw her: holding the same baby girl in her arms, she smiled so brightly at the children whom she was talking too. I haven't seen her smile in so long.

She looked breathtaking, her smile beautiful and content. I couldn't help smiling myself. My chest tightened and I faced away from her, trying to regain my composure. I felt so overwhelmed, so relieved, so happy to see her in this state. I kind of understood her impatience to get pregnant now: she loved children and her treating them with so much love and affection was my proof. No doubt that she would make a wonderful mother.

However, there was still an issue at hand that needed to be dealt with. Controlling my emotions, I schooled an expressionless face and walked towards her. She was talking to the children in Urdu, which I didn't bother catching.

"Amber," I started, touch her arm. She faced me, the wide smile fading. I stared at her blankly. She understood that I needed her alone so she kissed the baby's forehead and handed her to the same lady that I met yesterday.

"Follow me," she led me back to her office. I locked the door behind me, wanting complete privacy.

We stood in silence in the middle of the room: Amber avoiding my gaze, me staring at her with comprehension, my arms holder against my chest. I gazed at her face intently. She looked very different: her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, fingers fidgeting with her sleeves but she looked fresh.

"Did you . . . ,"

"Are you sober?" I immediately asked. She flinched at my bluntness and bowed her head down slightly. I tapped my foot, expecting her answer. After a few poignant seconds, she shook her head in affirmation and I sighed with relief, my shoulders sagging and arms falling to my side. Striding towards her, I carefully cupped her carefully in my hands, I willed her to look into my eyes. Coloured cheeks and eyes twinkling, I could clearly see that all the pent up anger and agitation that she held previously was now gone and replaced with anticipation. I didn't see the detest or hate that she held for me in her eyes, instead I saw surprise, suspense, fear and even guilt. Is that why she's avoiding my gaze?

But there was something that I saw which I thought that I would never be able to see in this stern and strict woman: there was regret and sadness in her deep soft brown depths. They spoke volumes to me, wanting me to understand so I emailed warmly at her, letting her see my sincerity.

"I'm so glad," I mumbled and kissed her temple. Her eyes closed up and lips began to quiver as her hands made way to mine and her cheek leaned into my hands.

"I couldn't," she choked and immediately grabbed onto me as if her life depended on me. "I couldn't do that to you. Not after everything that I made you go through," she sobbed.

My heart clenched at her state but I was so relieved to hear her say that. I breathed in deeply and tightened my arms around her.

I don't know how long we stood there; her weeping into my chest, me bawling in her warmth. "I missed you so much. I'm glad that you're back." I murmur and stroked her head affectionately.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

It felt as if the world came to a stop.

The mere words had me in a trance. I never thought that she would ever apologises, especially after all that we've been through. Her pride and arrogance would've never allowed her to. I could sense her honestly and her vulnerability.

She was so broken right now. This wasn't the reserved and cold woman that I had married. No, this was the real Amber Zaid.

The Amber Zaid that I was dying to meet and to get to know. I knew that the cold and calculated exterior was merely a facade because I had recognised the broken and insecure woman in her a long time ago and all I wanted was to help her out.

Maybe that's why I love her. Maybe that's the reason why Allah opened my heart for this woman and she stormed in without knowing.

Carrying her to the nearby couch, I hugged her closely until her tears ceased and she clung to my chest in silence.

"I was so scared," I started in a low voice. "That you would've started it again."

I felt her head shake beneath my chin and I fixed my eyes on her tear stained face. My heart skipped a beat; she looked at me with so much pain and all I wanted to do was take away all that pain and make her happy.

"I was going to. I wanted to drift back into oblivion. I couldn't take reality anymore. When I'm in the clear, I remember all the painful memories of my past. I just want to erase those memories but forget but I can't." She sobbed.

"You don't know what I've been through. Cocaine was my means of coping with my depression. I'm miserable. I just want the pain to stop."

I sighed and grabbed her shoulders. Staring at her with seriousness, I stroked her cheek. "I know what you've been through. I met with your sister Aaliya. She told me what had happened to you." I told her. Her eyes widened with apprehension.

"I know I violated one of your demands. But you have to understand Amber, I did it because I wanted to know what caused you so much pain so that I could help you through it. All I want is to take that pain away from you and make you happy." I gushed.

A fresh set of tears wells up in her eyes again. "Then you know and understand why I did what I did."

"I do but Amber, drugs is not the way. What happened happened and it's in the past now. Maybe there was some reason why Allah put you through all those trials. I think you should accept them because Allah opened so many other paths for you instead. You were alone for so long but not anymore. I'm here with you now. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere even if you make me." I confessed.

"After all this time, if my feelings for you were insincere, I would've left you by now but I didnt and do you know why?" I inquired. She shook her head.

I smiled and leaned in, brushing my lips softly on her salty teary ones. "Because I love you. And I'll never leave your side."

I know it's short but inshaa Allah, after exams I'm gonna give long updates.

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