You're always told it will get better and that there is going to be a happy ending. Do you really believe that? Do you really believe that one day in this lonely life, that things will actually get better for you? In some people's cases it could and it will. On the other hand, there's some people who are less fortunate. These people walk through hell with a smile and are simply on an unstoppable path into an abyss of sorrow and pain.
"Landon! Focus! Give me that notebook at once! Next time I will call your mother, mister!"
See, she so rightfully says this, but she never does. Empty, empty threats. I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, this is a writing class and all I was doing was writing. Hypocrite. She always tells me to expand my brain and always write what is on my mind, but how can I do that when she always restricts me of my sacred notebook? Whatever. In four years, I'll be out of this place they call "high school." What they should really call it is, "The Place That Is All About Labels And Don't Even Try To Be Yourself Because That Will Just Get You A Swirly." Yeah, that sounds more like it. Wow. I'm a genius. But to the people of the world I'm just the lonely dryer lint that you left in the pocket of your jeans because you "forgot to take it out."
"Landon! Get out of my classroom, boy! The bell rang 10 minutes ago. Oh and here's your notebook. Stay creative."
Stay creative, huh? Watch me, Ms. Castillo. Watch me become the greatest thing the world has ever seen.
Since I was so rudely interrupted by Ms. Castillo, I didn't get to properly introduce myself. Salutations, my name is Landon Mason and I'm a freshmen at Malken View High School. The only friends I have here are the lockers. We know each other pretty well considering the dumb jocks decide to throw me into them like a rag doll on the daily. Everyone hates me for some reason. I don't see why because I just moved here in August and I know nobody. But it's alright because I'm a hardcore introvert.
"Landon! Leave the school! It's Friday."
Oh would you look at that. It's Ms. Castillo. She's such a joy, isn't she? However, she did so kindly remind me that it was Friday. Everyone should be excited for Friday, but I dread the sickening day. Two days with my family is a living hell. My parents fight nonstop and I have to care for myself. I shouldn't even say "parents," they're my foster parents Their names are Steve and Linda. I'm adopted. My biological mother, Ana, killed herself when I was only a wee little baby. My biological father, Jason, wasn't mentally stable at the time and he was getting help for it, so he couldn't take me in.
At the age of two I was put into the abhorrent foster care system. At the age of three I was adopted, I was lucky I got out of there so soon. But you see, the people that adopted me already had a child at the time, Violet, and cared for her more. She was five when I came into their lives. At the age of seven I was in a horrible car accident. The whole family was. Everyone was okay, expect Violet. She had died on impact and the image of her lifeless body still haunts me. At the young age of ten, my foster parents let me go visit my father in the mental ward. It was terrifying. I didn't even get to see my dad. This man got out of his cell and broke into the waiting room and started to strangle me. I never went back. Twelve years old and my dad was out of the ward. He found me and tried to kidnap me. He broke into my house but didn't get far because my dog bit where the sun doesn't shine and he fled. He went to jail for 2 years. Currently I'm 14 (15 next April) and my dad is getting out of jail in a few weeks.
...
When I get home, my parents are screaming at each other. Something at work must have ticked off Steve because he's drinking again. I don't bother interrupting, so I just head off to my room to contemplate and write.
Do you ever just stare in the mirror and wonder why anything exists? Do you ever realize that you're an actual living organism? That you're not invisible? That something could happen at this very moment and take a turn to something bad? You realize we have no real control. Tomorrow is coming whether you like it or not. We have no control over other people and their ideas. We have control over nothing. Just think, do we even have control over ourselves?
