I'm so sorry that I couldn't be a good matesprite, friend, or good anything in general. If I was only I didn't have so much 'bark' or 'bite'. It's just that I have never had real confidence because it was all fake and so was every fucking smile I've shone they were just masks! You know it becomes easy to do that when you've been doing it for a while. And I used that just to feel alive! Cause you see there is nothing left to take from me or break for that matter! Also being told by someone I TRUSTED that I can't be who I want to be and that because I was born a girl I have to be called 'she' and 'her' and when I bring it up he's all "NO! YOU WERE BORN IN A FEMALE BODY SO YOU HAVE TO GO BY FEMALE PRONOUNS! THAT'S FINAL!" And I want to grab him by his neck and yell in his GOD DAMN FACE "I DON'T GIVE ANY FUCKS ABOUT WHAT YOU SEE ME AS BUT IF YOU SAW ME FROM MY POINT OF VIEW AND FEEL HOW I FUCKING FEEL! THEN YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT I AM! YOU ARE NOT MY PARENT SO SHUT THE HELL UP!" And I don't think I'm a male. I feel like... No I KNOW that I'm a freak a burden better yet a MONSTER! A creature that no one wants and wishes to kill! So pal if you see this then try to scavenge what little sanity I have left and attempt to make it have more control over my mind. Even if you use magick... Well if you can find a spell or ritual that can do that then try. Then TRY!
