Impasse • Grayson Dolan

n e u n

a c e s

  Before Mark could be taken away from us, we'd spent so much time together that a tiny little something flourished inside all of us. Something special. We'd grown closer by spending a week and a half with him.

  But little by little, everyone was beginning to leave, which left me empty all over again. The only left ones were the eldest ones; The three of us.

  The twins were adopted a week after. Since then we did not hear their cute, little giggles from across the living room, nor their little feet running around the house. We all felt empty, yet happy for them that they've finally found what they needed.

  It made me think about what could possibly happen if I didn't get chosen- in other words, adopted- I'd be back to zero, but everything would become ten times harder. Sure, I'd have no bruises nor cuts anymore and I wouldn't have to worry about a drunk father every evening. Though I'd probably starve myself to death or die from a random, curable illness. I'd also have no home and no one to talk to. Nevertheless, I tried to convince myself, that I'd get through it if that were ever to happen.

"You alright there? You seem stressed out" Jake asked with concern while he distributed the cards. We were sitting on the floor, forming a somewhat deformed circle between us. With my unstoppable thoughts I totally forgot I was playing Poker with the only members left of the house. Technically, we were not gambling, since there was no money involved.

We all gently turned the bottom part of our own cards to peek and make a decision. "Check" Jeremy said, leaving his cards to rest on the floor. "Just kinda empty since the kids aren't around anymore" I said, leaving my cards on the floor too. "Check" I added.

"I kinda miss them too" Jake left them too. "Check." He reached to the pile of cards and showed us the first three cards.

"If you don't mind me asking now, how would you two end up here?" I asked, raising 50.

"Abandoned by our own parents. Grew up without knowing who we actually were" Jeremy explained raising more chips.

"Call"

"Same" The fourth card was shown.

"When will you be turning 18?" Jeremy asked, throwing a couple green chips.

"Pretty soon." More green chips were thrown. "In a few more days" I sighed.

The final card was shown. I went all in with my chips, causing them all to fold.

"If I don't get adopted before 18, it'll certainly be a dead end for me."